- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Bees! I need your advice! First off, FI is the one dealing with this, not me.
FMIL is definitely a “hostess” type, where everything has to be over the top. Our wedding rehearsal is the night before, and she is planning the RD (just assumed and started planning, which is nice, and fine, but tbh the RD isn’t a priority for us… we are paying for our wedding it has been really hard and stressful). Since we weren’t really concerned with the RD, we told her something casual would be perfect, when asked, and requested just the bridal party and parents.
When she wanted to put together an engagement party, the same thing happened, where we said to keep it small, and she didn’t. FI has told her multiple times to do something small, just with the wedding party, basically. She asks him for a list, and he clarifies, just the wedding party, and she says that she has already invited his entire extended family and it would be rude to uninvite them, and her excuse is “they wanted to help”.
Well, since she is asking for a guest list, she obviously didn’t invite people, yet. The RD is in the evening (there is an evening church service and it needs to be later), and she insists the RD must be after, which makes sense since people would be working during the day. We have some DIY decorating to do, and therefore this big elaborate dinner/party she is planning just isn’t going to happen. FI tried to talk with her about it, and she just ignored him saying basically “too late”. Our families haven’t met, and every time there is an opportunity, she turns it into this BIG more-than-necessary celebration. My family is not so over the top social, and would have preferred just to meet them- at ANY point -in a more casual setting, but she just doesn’t care! Plus, we are GETTING MARRIED the day after the rehearsal, and had made plans to stay separately with our friends. She wants a late-into-the-night party as the RD. FI has expressed to her over and over that we can’t and don’t want this, but she just dismisses it! What to do???