(Closed) Overbearing In Laws!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

yikes! Maybe you need to talk to FI about setting up boundaries with his parents. If you dont do something about it now it will only get worse. But FI should be the one to talk to them not you.

Post # 5
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

oooo – wow, it would only be a matter of time before she saw a side of me that not alot of people see, including myself. i have alot of patience but when that patience becomes extreme annoyance i am not far from my tipping point.

Know that things will not change after the wedding – i love my in laws, i seriously do, and i go out of my way to make sure i am respectful and participate in things that are important to them but there are some things that i’m just not going to change for them. I never had the idea that things would magically change after my wedding and they would be more open about things but i guess i never really sat down and thought about the differences and how they would affect our marriage. Now things are coming up and i got upset with DH the other night about certain issues and i was like im not mad at you, i know you cant change them but i am dealing with the fact that this is how i am going to have to live my life, i dont want to have to tip toe around my in-laws forever especially when we have children.

i think you need to have a conversation with FI about how this is driving you crazy! maybe he can say something to them – again and again we hear this stuff and i want to scream – parents need to stay out of it and let us have our own families and start our own traditions.

Post # 6
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

“they have told me they dont want to see different colours of people on each side…”

What? WHAT?! What does that even MEAN??!

Post # 7
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Drums: Uhhh ya I agree. Racist in-laws aren’t cool.

I think a frank discussion of boundaries with your FI and your ILs is needed. That all sounds incredibly overbearing. Maybe you could ask your MIL to teach you to cook what she’s been sending over for your FI. Flattery will get you everywhere. It doesn’t matter if you only ever cook it when she comes over, but if you can put up with her for a day and just learn to cook what she makes, she’ll likely leave that issue alone. As far as everything else, change your locks, don’t give them a key. Don’t open the door unless they’ve called to ask if they can come over first. Talk to your FI otherwise this is just going to get worse and worse. You need to set clear boundaries and both you and FI enforce them.

Post # 9
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

WOAH! I would flip out. Good luck and maybe sit down talk with them would be in order. 

Post # 11
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@maybride2011: Have you considered eloping to Hawaii and just staying there? LOL!!

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