(Closed) Overcome by anger about my husband's accident.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I can’t even imagine. I am so sorry. No one should ever, ever have to experience anything like this. I’m praying for both of you. If you need anything, you know we’re all here for you.

Post # 4
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I know I can’t do anything to really help, but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about everything that’s happened to you and your husband.  I hope he has a smooth recovery and that you find the resources you need to take care of yourself along the way.  It’s so not fair, and you have every right to feel angry.  Hang in there!

Post # 5
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

:HUGS: I’m so so sorry that you’re going through this. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like, all different emotions running through. Your very strong and I pray that your husband makes a full recovery

Post # 6
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry. 🙁

I got attacked by three guys on the street 10 years ago, and came away with an MTBI.  I had a lot of anger for a long time, and fear too.  It took a long time for both to go away… and my recovery was much much easier than Justin’s.

I hope that you’re able to talk to someone about all this! I didn’t and in retrospect, it took me a lot longer to deal with the anger/fear than it would have otherwise.

Sending you all the love in the world…  and wishing both you and Justin a healthy recovery!

Love,

Mr. Bee

Post # 7
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I know nothing can be said to make it better, but know you have a whole lot of suppor there! Thinking of you and wishing you the best!!

Post # 8
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Our hearts and prayers our with you. I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I hope everything works out for the best.

Post # 9
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Big hug! You have every right to be anger!

Post # 10
Member
1586 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m so glad he’s coming around. I remember the first post and my heart dropped. Remember, at the end, you’ll still have him.

 

With that said, anger is normal. My FIL was in a nearly deadly motorcyle accident last year which nearly killed him. We were relieved through the entire healing process, but  we were furious at him and everyone involved for the accident, both rational and irrational factors. Be there for him and be supportive. Go see someone for counselling to help you resolve those feelings without taking it out on Mr. Macintosh.

Post # 11
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh girl… I wish I could just give you a huge hug right now.  And buy you a punching bag.  I don’t have a lot of experience with grief or loss (and I suspect what you are feeling right now is grief for your life before this accident), but from what I have observed, anger is a very, very common feeling.  As to how to overcome it, all I can say is time, living in the present, and learning to be thankful for what you do have vs. what you have lost.  And right now, a week after the accident, I don’t think anyone expects you to be able to find your zen so if I were your friend, I would tell you to not hold yourself to unrealistic expectations.  Your zen WILL come with time and as you and your husband work your way through this. 

My heart is still, and always, with you.

Post # 12
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m so sorry. It’s not fair. You shouldn’t have to live through that, and neither should your husband. You shouldn’t have to go through all of the terror and anguish and financial burden and everything else. You two did nothing wrong. So yea… you have a right to be angry. Shitty shitty situation. 

I am really glad to hear that he seems to be doing better. I remember your first post and at that point you thought there was almost no hope. Now there is a lot of hope, it seems, that there could be a recovery– so that at least is amazing. 

Once things are a bit more stable, a counselor would probably be a good idea to help work through your feelings about all this. 

Also, on the financial side, I would consult a lawyer very soon about all of that. It seems insane to me that the insurance wouldn’t cover the bills. I know that is probably the least important item on your list right now— but before you make any decisions about settlement or anything— please talk to an attorney and make sure you understand all of your rights.

Post # 13
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I want to say I’m sorry, but I’m not sure how much my pity will help you right now.

 

I’m angry for you. I’m sad for you. I’m touched by your devotion to your husband, and I’m sending you all of my well wishes. I’m hopeful for a steady recovery. I understand frustration with friends who don’t notice, or don’t care enough to make you feel less alone.

 

Best wishes, to you, your husband, and your families. Take breaks when you need to. Fret when you need to. Cry when you need to. And laugh when you need to.

Post # 14
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Macintosh,

I’m so sorry for what you are going through. When you go through something that unfair and just plain awful, there is no good way to put it in perspective. I went through a terrible time a few years ago, and I hated it when people said, “everything happens for a reason.” Because, as you know, sometimes life sucks, and there is no good reason behind things happening- things just happen. I too was extremely angry. It is normal to feel that way, but remember in this trying time to take some time to focus on yourself and your needs. Maybe seeing a counselor would help, or taking walks, or writing in a journal (or here!), or something else.

Please know that I am thinking about you. I’m so glad that your husband has shown such resilience and strength as he has undergone the procedures, and I hope that in time he will make a full recovery.

 

Post # 15
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@CorgiTales:  +1

 

oh honey, you have every right to feel all of these feelings. It’s absolutely not fair. I wish I had all the right words to say to you 🙁 But absolutely look into Corgi’s advice and look into lawyers – it’s unfathomable that on top of having this happen to your lives that you should be stuck with any bills in this situation.

 

And as much as counseling gets thrown around on the Bee, you should definitely have someone to talk to down the road. You’re going through so many emotions – this is so much for one person to handle. 

Continuing to send all the best for your husband’s recovery!

Post # 16
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee

I would be angry too. I would be stark raving mad. People do stupid things and put others in danger and the price you and your husband are paying is far beyond what anyone should ever live through. But I am so, so, so glad that Justin is doing better and I hope each day brings more and more good news. xo

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