Post # 1
wahhhh. bridesmaid vent coming….
so i was MOH in 2 of my BMs weddings, and a pretty much MOH in one of the others. The 4th has yet to marry.
My MOH has been the most supporitve, excited friend since the day i got engaged. She is so over the moon happy for me, and wants to repay me for all the hard work i did for her and the other girls. I so freaking appreciate that, you have no idea. Heres where the issue lies-
shes being so overly excited and has all these expectations that when the other girls give more realistic, down played ideas- shes flipping out on them. they dont wanna talk to her, and she wants them to give more than theyre willing. i tried to talk her down= tell her to chill, and if she backed off a little maybe they would wanna help more. she said if this wasnt for me, she’d tell them to plan the party themselves and tell her what to pay. My other moh is giving me her side/the other BMs side of the story at the same time. They’ve both acknowledged the fact they shouldn’t be bringing me these issues a few weeks ago- but i think things got to a boiling point this morning.
i feel so sad bc i think if i had more BMs, then it wouldnt cost so much per person (cost of the bachelorette party is the top concern by the others). i feel bad bc my MOH wants to make this bachelorette party amazing and no one else is nearly as enthusiastic as her. i feel bad shes flipping out on the other girls when theyre just wayyy more relaxed than she is. I wish i could fix it. im trying to mediate, even though i shouldnt. but since i’ve been pulled into it, i have to.
its a freaking lose lose. and i just needed to vent over it. any advice on how to deal? thanks bees.
Post # 2
Can you say to her something like this? “Look MOH, I LOVE that you’re so excited about planning these amazing things for me, but I get the feeling that the other BM’s aren’t as gung ho about it and I’m totally cool with that. Let’s plan something that everyone is going to agree with and enjoy!”
Post # 3
Ryansgirl: i think i talked her down a good bit. i told her everyone needs to be flexible, and she needs to be willing to listen to their ideas. and if some ideas need to be cut out for financial reasons, then thats just how itll have to be. I gave her a big ole pep talk. she apologized for venting to me (again) but im told her im glad we had the talk we did bc i think she needed to hear what all i said to her.
Post # 4
theEguarantee: Ahhhh! Me tooo! So funny, in a sad way haha.
My cousin is the MOH and she’s not working right now/has a lot of time to plan, which is AWESOME. But my BMs have expressed they are annoyed that they are constantly receiving messages and my MOH is planning a bachelorette that they think is too much money.
It’s hard… what do you do?!? It seems as though someone will be disappointed. I just told her to scale down the price and plan something more low-key. Bascially said I didn’t care what we did I just wanted everyone to be there to celebrate! Things have been on hold for a little bit because of the summer, but planning will resume again in Sept. I haven’t heard anything else, so either they’re on the same page or no one is telling me. Either way I’m too busy planning the wedding, haha.
I know it’s hard, but just tell her/other BMs that you’re busy planning the wedding and you trust them to figure it out. Then move on.
Post # 5
winterwoodlandbride15: ahh im not alone!!!! lol
from what i can tell, things just came to a boiling point this morning, i was able to mediate the best i could, and i think everyone is more on the same page now. theyre getting together in person for the first time in september. i am definitely not going to be able to continue to be referee for them for much longer!
Post # 6
theEguarantee: As you shouldn’t be, just take a step back. A lot of things get miscontrued over text/fb messages and it’s hard when they’re not together. The next time my bridal party will all be together is Nov. 1 for our stag and doe… it’s hard when they’re all over.
Utimately, they love you and want the best for you. I drove myself crazy over this issue, then you just realize you have to let go. Things WILL work out. Take a walk, paint your nails. Those are my ‘happy places’ haha.