Weddingbee boards

I was just at the gym and overheard these two little shrews yammering about a friend of theirs who came to one of their weddings and didn't bring a present. They were saying they wished they could throw another party where gifts were required (housewarming or something) just so they could NOT invite her and let her know that it wasn't "worth it" to have her there since she wouldn't bring them anything anyway.

Now clearly I don't know the whole story. (I do know these girls is b**ches, tho!) But it got me thinking. Barring some outrageous circumstance like job loss or their house burning down or something, if a friend you invited came to your wedding, celebrated with you and wished you congratulations but didn't give you a gift, would you be pissed? I'd love to hear your takes on this.

I think that sounds ridiculous. While traditional etiquette is to bring a gift and I'm certainly looking forward to furnishing my home with some wedding presents, I would never disown somebody for not giving me a present. I'll be so excited to have them there sharing in my special day - and since many of my guests will have to travel to be there, I know they're already spending a lot of money to be there!

All that being said, I think its considerate to at least bring a card or something...

I think it would depend on the situation.  If it was a friend who was in difficult financial times or something, but still showed up and wished us well, and wrote us a nice warm card- I would totally understand.  If it was someone who flaunts their money around, abused the open bar, and failed to even congratulate us at the reception- I think I'd be pissed.  I guess it would come down to whether I got the impression they cared about us, or were just there for the party.

Me-ow!  Sounds like a couple of Bitter Betties!  Of course it's always a nice thought that someone would bring a gift, but I don't think I'd get pissed if I didn't get one!  We always assume we get nothing, and then if we do get something, it's a bonus!!

I wouldn't be upset about not getting a gift but I would be upset if I didn't even get a card (no money needs to be in it!) congratulating us on our wedding day.

@entangled I think she meant she didn't get anything from the girl - not that she didn't actually bring a physical gift to the wedding.

I think the way this question is worded is a bit biased (and those girls sounded sort of bitchy). In my culture it is considered VERY rude not to give a gift. If I didn't bring a gift to a wedding, people would talk about me and it might ruin my relationship with them. I would respond the same way if someone didn't bring a gift to mine.  

I would also add that this might differ in various regions and social circles. After all, etiquette is not universal. I know that a cash bar is one of the biggest etiquette sins FI and I could commit for OUR wedding, but there are many brides on here in whose communities this is an accepted option. Perhaps gifts are a similar issue. I don't think our answers to this poll reflect not our personal views but the standards of our communities. 

I'd like to point out that though many here advocate at least a card and a small gift - I've seen posts on the bee about presents of $50 with a card that say how disapointed they were and they would rather have recieved nothing.  So, while to some people just a card is nice and mandatory to others it is pointless and upsetting which is why someone who couldn't afford/didn't want to give a substantial gift might not give a card.

To the questions itself, eh don't care, I'll be sad if we get zero presents but I don't mind if individuals don't get us gifts.

The truth is though that my reaction will probably depend a little on my original feelings for that person.  If it's someone I'm already upset or wary off I'm more likely to be peeved. 

While I would not be mad perse, I would be a little upset if they didn't even bother at all. I've known forever that you give people gifts for weddings, housewarmings, etc and it's not even like I've been to a lot of them nor did I ever even consider planning a wedding before I was actually engaged. Haha! I don't think there is really much of an excuse for not even giving a card, mostly because as long as you have paper, a writing utensil and an envelope, you can give a card. Maybe the girls were b*tchy before this and so the girl, while feeling obligated to attend, decided that she wasn't going to get them a gift simply because of how they acted. Or she could be super broke or be burned out on weddings.

we had about 10 people out of 110 not give us gifts or even a card.  It's been almost 8 months, so I'm pretty sure we're not getting anything.  it's lame but oh well.  We don't expect anything now, so if we do happen to get something, it will be a really lovely surprise.

I picked "other" because I'm in the camp where it depends on the situation. I have 1 college friend who's been to and IN many other college friend's weddings. Long story short, a number of people have told me (before we were even engaged mind you, not cuz of our wedding) - that he never gave any of them a present. Nothing. Not even a card. It wouldn't bother me as much if I knew he was struggling, if he came by himself & didn't bring a date but I know he's pretty well off so I just think it's rude. FI's cousins even warned us about a couple relatives that have skipped presents for weddings.

Is it going to stop me from inviting them to my wedding? No. But it's a good heads up to have.

I personally wouldn't be offended if someone I invited to my wedding didn't bring me a gift.  I've gone to a wedding where all I could afford was a nice card with a heartfelt message.

On another note, one of my cousin's got married 2 summers ago and because most of the bride's friends were still in college, she included things like toothpaste, can openers, and pizza cutters on her registry.  I thought it was an ingenious way to include her friends that wanted to get her a gift but couldn't afford a whole lot.