Post # 1
I was just at the gym and overheard these two little shrews yammering about a friend of theirs who came to one of their weddings and didn’t bring a present. They were saying they wished they could throw another party where gifts were required (housewarming or something) just so they could NOT invite her and let her know that it wasn’t “worth it” to have her there since she wouldn’t bring them anything anyway.
Now clearly I don’t know the whole story. (I do know these girls is b**ches, tho!) But it got me thinking. Barring some outrageous circumstance like job loss or their house burning down or something, if a friend you invited came to your wedding, celebrated with you and wished you congratulations but didn’t give you a gift, would you be pissed? I’d love to hear your takes on this.
Post # 3
I think I might be a little disapointed, but I would not be pissed. In my opinion, gifts should never be expected.
By The Way – we are almost date twins! I’m in South Jersey, and getting in married in PA too. Small world. : )
Post # 4
i would be hurt more than angry. but depending on the situation i’m sure there’d be an explanation that i’d understand.
Post # 5
I think that sounds ridiculous. While traditional etiquette is to bring a gift and I’m certainly looking forward to furnishing my home with some wedding presents, I would never disown somebody for not giving me a present. I’ll be so excited to have them there sharing in my special day – and since many of my guests will have to travel to be there, I know they’re already spending a lot of money to be there!
All that being said, I think its considerate to at least bring a card or something…
Post # 6
Well- we are asking people to NOT bring gifts to our wedding, so I’d be totally fine with it. Just share the happiness!
Post # 7
Funny you brought this up because one of my girlfriends and I were just having a conversation about if you are suppose to bring a gift to all showers plus wedding that you get invited to.
Post # 8
I think it would depend on the situation. If it was a friend who was in difficult financial times or something, but still showed up and wished us well, and wrote us a nice warm card- I would totally understand. If it was someone who flaunts their money around, abused the open bar, and failed to even congratulate us at the reception- I think I’d be pissed. I guess it would come down to whether I got the impression they cared about us, or were just there for the party.
Post # 9
eek! those girls seem crazy rude. i’d never disown a friend for not giving a gift. we set up a charity registry as well as a traditional one, and i sort of hope my friends use that instead of buying us presents, which aren’t necessary imo…
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant
Me-ow! Sounds like a couple of Bitter Betties! Of course it’s always a nice thought that someone would bring a gift, but I don’t think I’d get pissed if I didn’t get one! We always assume we get nothing, and then if we do get something, it’s a bonus!!
Post # 11
I’ll be honest…I’d be a bit disapointed! But I know that not everyone can afford to come to a wedding AND offer a gift so I would try to be understanding and I wouldn’t ever say that I wanted to “show them they weren’t wanted” that is catty and awful….meeeeeow!!!! hiss hiss!
Post # 12
i am actually going into this NOT expecting gifts from anyone and if i get something then YAY!
now bridal shower… thats different LOL
Post # 13
That’s just super catty!
One of my FI’s good family friends didn’t RSVP to us, and when we called he explained that they are having some serious financial difficulties and couldn’t afford to drive in for the wedding, or get us a gift. My Fiance immediately told him that we just wanted them to attend, and we’re actually paying for their gas so that they can join us. A wedding is about having family and friends their to celebrate with you, not to give you gifts!
Post # 14
I think it would depend on th situation. If they were strapped, OK. If they had to spend money to come to the wedding, OK. If there was some sort of cultural thing, where they typically don’t bring presents to weddings, OK. If the friend is typically flaky, I’d probably overlook it. Did she give other friends gifts? But if there didn’t seem to be a logical explanation, I would probably be hurt. I would try to give her the benefit of the doubt. But I think I would wonder why she didn’t give me a gift.
Actually I did have a friend not give me a present. She was planning on making something, and never gave it to me. I figured that she got busy and forgot. And honestly, it’s kind of her personality. We’re still friends.
Post # 15
I wouldn’t be upset about not getting a gift but I would be upset if I didn’t even get a card (no money needs to be in it!) congratulating us on our wedding day.
Post # 16
i’d be upset. i wouldn’t go saying mean things and not invite them to parties (actually a few of my friends didn’t give us gifts at our engagement party and that wasn’t going to stop me from inviting them to anything else!) but it makes me sad. especially because i know their situations, i know they aren’t going broke.