Overheard two friends at work talking about me….

posted 3 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

That is really hard.  I have gained about ten pounds in the last five or so years, and I hate it.  I hate looking in the mirror and weighing myself and I hate even caring.  I am 5’2″ and chunky so ten pounds is far more obvious on me than taller people.  UGH.

Why do we have to care about things like this?????


For you…damn girl I don’t know. *hugs*  Do you feel comfortable in your dress?  Do you like your dress?

Post # 4
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Two weeks isn’t enough time to change your body.  But it is enough time to light the fire about changing the way you percieve yourself.  Weight doesn’t have to determine how you feel about yourself.  You deserve to feel as beautiful as you are, and beauty isn’t tied to your weight.

I understand your feeling, for sure.  I have had some pretty bad disordered eating problems in the past, including a very long stint in outpatient therapy, lots of monthly weigh-ins with my family doctor, and other horrible humiliating things.  After an injury this summer and the subsequent surgeries, I’ve also gained about thirty pounds – and I’m much shorter than you are (5’2″).  It sucks.  I hate it.  I’m working on losing it.  But I am trying to love myself at this weight because I keep reminding myself that even when I was thirty pounds lighter, I still didn’t love myself.  So getting back there won’t magically fix things.  I have to learn to do more than just accept myself at this weight – I have to love myself at any weight.

Post # 6
7940 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

@FleeSircus:  I’m really sorry that happened. I know this is easier said then done but You need to just practice love and compassion for yourself. You gained weight- it’s not a sin, it’s SO easy to do, it’s not the end of the world- most of us struggle with weight. Your worth is not your weight. Really. And youre getting married! So clearly he appreciates and loves you for who you are which is NOT your pants size.

For the next weeks I just urge you to be really kind to yourself- don’t dwell on negative thought patterns. Get your blood moving with exercise. Find time to call a friend or do whatever it is you do to unwind.

Post wedding you might benefit seeing a therapist who specializes in ED to unpack your relationship with food, and give you the tools to untie your emotions from your caloric intake (binging or restriction) and get yourself to happy healthy moderate habits.

You have ALL my sympathy and goodvibes and all that. Take care!


Post # 7
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I am sure it really hurts to hear those words. It sucks, but those types of conversations happen ALL THE TIME. If I noticed a coworker gained 30-40 pounds, I would probably mention it to another coworker. Not in a judgey way, but more of a concerned way. 

I am sure you will look gorgeous on your wedding and I agree you height and weight ratio isn’t super heavy by any means. 



Post # 8
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We are the same height and I have gone up my highest at 158 in the past and my lowest is 124 however my normal weight is about 130.  I felt awful about myself at 158, I hated how I looked and felt however I will say this.  I am the ONLY one who thought I looked bad.  I am more than positive you look beautiful as well.  It is really hard as we are used to beating ourselves up over this type of thing.  However, keep in mind as you said you friends were not trying to be hurtful they’re genuinly concerned for you.  And it sounds like they should be you have a lot riding on your shoulders.  I would turn this into a positive thing.  You have amazing friends, I would die to have friends like that at work because truthfully I dont.  Turn to them and confide in them speaking about your stress with someone can really help.  Maybe you all can work on a healthy stress outlet like a fun exercise class together.  However, in the time being, enjoy your life get married and be confident you have someone who loves you no matter what and that is something to be thankful for 🙂 best of luck and I will be thinking about you!

Post # 9
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Please don’t stress.. I’m 5’6 and currently around 150lbs.  Like you, it might be 5 or 6 more than that but I, too, have been avoiding the scale. Please know that you most certainly don’t look pregnant.  That must’ve been very hard to hear.  

When we’re in relationships and we put on a little weight, I think it’s probably natural that the first thought is ‘maybe she’s pregnant!’… I’m sure she didn’t mean that you look like you have a big baby belly, maybe just that your boobs have gotten a bit bigger and you’ve gotten a little curvier. 

It happens to us all.  At 5’6, 160 pounds isn’t overweight!  If anything, that’s most likely a nice healthy weight for a woman our height. (I say this, even as we are both unhappy at our current weights!) But perhaps if we remind ourselves enough, we’ll believe it!  We are so used to seeing such skinny stick women in magazines, but most of the men I know prefer a woman with curves rather than ultra skinny.  Every time I put myself down, my FI is quick to tell me I’m wrong and how much he loves that my boobs are bigger and that he doesnt see a difference (My lightest however was 139 – except during a major anxiety attack where I dropped to 130 in a week)

Find something to wear that makes you feel confidant and pretty… do you hair and make up and have some sexy time with your fiance and let him remind you how sexy and beautiful you are.

I just want to reiterate – your friends care about you, you said they were talking about you more out of concern than anything else right?  I’m sure it’s not that they think you look bad, more so perhaps concerned that you are stressed or feeling anxious and this is just the result… I rambled a lot there, but hope it helps

Post # 10
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’ve always gone by the saying “What other people think of you is none of your business” And I think a lot of people would benefit from that.

It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of how you look but your SO and yourself! And I would never go by numbers on the scale 160 on someone could look big, or it could look super skinny it is all about muscle/fat, how you are proportioned etc.

Go by how your clothes fit and how you FEEL.

Post # 12
2372 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

I am probably about 10-15 pounds heavierthan I wantto be, and I was the same weight at my wedding as I am now… Therefore I was the heaviest Ive ever been at my wedding..

If I may say so, I looked freakin’ fab, and you will too!! You said yourself your dress is flattering, and if you let go of your worry and just let yourself shine from the love on that day, trust me you wont hate your pics!! I am sure you’re going to be stuuunnniiinngg 🙂 Think it, say it, live it, feel it!

My other big insecurity is my teeth, they are a bit crooked as my mouth is crowded. Most pictures I do a closed mouth smile. But for my wedding day I put it out of my mind, smiled my real genuine smile all day (I could not have stopped if I tried) and none of my pictures, to me, showcase my teeth looking crooked. Your pics will turn out great, and you’re going to look beautiful 🙂


Post # 14
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ugh, I’m really sorry!! Regardless of what they said, you need to make sure you are healthy. Are you binging? If you still feel like you have an unhealthy relationship with food, how about therapy with someone who is specifically trained in eating disorders? This helped me a lot when I was struggling with these issues in college. Good luck, and remember that your husband will think you are the most beautiful woman in the world when he sees you on your wedding day 🙂

Post # 16
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@FleeSircus:  Might be good to see if there are any ED hotlines in the area that you can call up for some tips and guidance – nothing wrong with that!
They may be able to reccomend a good specialist, or at least give you a comprehensive list.

And honestly, at least you’re AWARE of your own body. I think that’s a HUGE first step.

And as long as you have fun at your wedding and marry this great-sounding guy, then the weight is insignificant.
You are what you are, when you are – you can change it, but it ALWAYS takes time no matter what it is (personality, weight, personal style – whatever it is) So cut yourself some slack and know that just taking the first steps deserves some major credit.

And, BTW – I think a mermaid dress is going to look hella sexy on you! 🙂

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