Post # 1
FH and I haven’t had much “us time” since his work schedule has been crazy. We went to dinner with some friends of his, and it felt like he was more warm and friendly toward the two female friends than me. Nothing concrete. Then when we were talking after to one of our friends, she was complaining about her husband not doing things, around the house, and FH complains that I have refused to listen to him and his wish to get new blinds. (The old owner’s dog chewed a few spots.) I pointed out that he hasn’t done anything on them either, and he said he didn’t want to get them done without me. Since FH works 80 hours a week and I work 50, for most of the things we need to do around the house, I do the research, present the options or what I want to do to FH, he weighs in, then I make it happen. I am so irritated, but also having had a bad day at work, I can’t figure out how much my irritation is at other stuff vs. what he did tonight. Some perspective bees?
Post # 3
I can understand why you’re irritated, I probably would be too. But I think it may be at least partly other stress in your life and maybe being frustrated that work takes up so much of his time and he can’t do things for or with you as much. I know that has bothered me in the past. Especially when you think he should be sad about not getting to do so much with you and he treats you like you’re annoying (or something like that) and is super nice to everyone else. It’s hard but I think the best thing to do is to not show your irritation to him because that will push him away and make him enjoy other people even more because they are more pleasant to be around (of course they are! They don’t have to put up with any of his crap no matter how minor it may be!). If there are certain things that you don’t care about around the house, tell him that it doesn’t bother you but if he wants to work on it together (or just him) that is fine. He may also see the blinds issue as you not caring about him because it’s something that bothers him and he hasn’t had the time to deal with it and you haven’t done anything about it. Keep in mind that he probably doesn’t like working so much and he is probably stressed. Not an excuse for poor behavior or making you feel like less than other females, but just something to keep in mind. Try to be the bigger person and be the one to change. Give him a massage after a long day, make him his favorite dinner when he’s especially stressed. teach him by example and hopefully he’ll learn!