Post # 1
So I was at the Hallmark store the other day, looking for a “first house” ornament for our tree, since it’s our first year in the house together and I thought it would be cute. While I was there, I spotted “baby’s first Christmas” and snagged it to give to my FSIL for her 5.5 month old son, who was born in June this year. It was so cute, and I thought it would be a sweet gift for the whole family. When I told the boy about it, his very first response was, “don’t you think that’s overstepping your boundaries a bit?” I was sort of stunned by this — my family was never the type to buy those (adorable!!) Hallmark ornaments every year, but it’s a tradition I’d really like to start (see also: first house ornament.) The boy said traditionally it’s the parents’ duty/job/right to buy the “baby’s first Christmas” ornament, but I’ve never heard this before. My parents have about 5 different “baby’s first Christmas” ornaments that various people gave them in 1983, so I figured even if I got FSIL this ornament, it might be one of many.
So my question to the Hive is this — what’s the rule on “baby’s first Christmas” ornaments? Is it the sole job of the parents? Am I overstepping my boundaries? Or is the boy nuts and the ornament is fine?
Post # 3
I think this is a difference in your two families. In my family, this would not be overstepping any of sort of boundaries. But I could definitely see FI flipping out if I did this. He still thinks it’s weird that we buy a Christmas present for FSIL’s son.
If it’s going to ruffle his feathers so much, I would just return it.
Post # 4
i know in my family and FI’s family it might be “overstepping” to buy the baby’s first christmas ornament…. i guess its kind of a personal special thing for the parents of the child to do. But I think its different in every family…. i’d follow your FI on this one.
A nice thoughtful gesture on your part though 🙂
Post # 5
I agree with hotchild. In my family it wouldn’t be a big deal, but if it will cause potential problems in his, I would return it and get something different.
Post # 6
No, not weird at all to me… I bought an our first christmas ornament for M’s cousin’s and when she opened it she was sort of like bleh.. I am soo glad they also got a bottle of champagne and wine flutes!! I would personally have loved it and the sentiment attached. What type of woman is your fsil? Is she girlie and sentimentally (yes I made up a word, if so she’ll probably love it!) after all he is a dude so he may not be too up to spped on this.. can you mention it to your fmil and see what she says?
Post # 7
I don’t think its overstepping at all. When my daughter’s first Christmas rolled around I got like 6 baby’s first Christmas ornaments. Some don’t make it on the tree every year- but so what? It was still thoughtful of the people to give them.
Post # 8
@crebre — FSIL is not even remotely girlie. When she was pregnant with the kiddo her mother and MIL practically begged her to have a baby shower and she flat out refused. She wouldn’t even register for gifts, so when the boy and I (although really me, because he wasn’t exactly useful in the baby-gift-buying department) bought something for the family and the kiddo, we just kind of guessed and bought them a swaddling blanket and a receiving blanket. I don’t know her very well, but from what I do know, I don’t think she’d even bat an eyelash, which is why I bought it and why the boy’s comment suprised me so much.
Post # 9
Based on what some of the previous posters have said, it does seem to vary from family to family. I know that my parents were given multiple ornaments for each of us when we were born, so I don’t think it’s overstepping any kind of boundary.
I don’t know of any rule that says a baby is allotted only one first Christmas ornament, and if it was me I would still give it (unless he’s really dead-set against it). Maybe ask MIL what her opinion is and if she would think it’s weird.
Post # 10
Weird… this sounds so cute and I can’t imagine it being an offensive gift in any way! But I guess as others have noted, it must vary from family to family.
Post # 11
Unless your FI throws an absolute fit, I’d give it to her! I think it’s sweet!
Post # 12
I can’t imagine why your gift would offend anyone. My in-laws got us several “first Christmas together” ornaments last year and I was delighted by their thoughtfulness.
Post # 13
In my hubby’s family, it would be fine, but I could absolutely see my mom getting upset if someone else bought a baby’s first Christmas ornament for one of her grandkids, just b/c she always has to be the first to do that kind of stuff. I think that if it will ruffle feathers, maybe you could just get one for the baby that had the year on it rather than baby’s first Christmas?