Post # 1
With 9 months to plan our wedding and ~a month into it I’m already overwhelmed. I’m the only one who seems to care about the details. FI basically only comments to say when something is a BAD idea but never to say anything positive.
I am just tired of it already..I wish we could elope and forget about all of it. It seems like such a waste of time, energy, emotions, and money. You’re no less married without the huge event so why even waste the time?
Sorry..I just need to vent. I’m having a rough day and just want to cry or sleep or something. Do any of you ever have days like this?
Post # 3
yes some days are exciting with planning and others are a drain. take a break from it and just breathe 🙂
Post # 4
Eeek I’ve been overwhelmed before!
Just quit for the day (or a few weeks!) and come back to it with a fresh mind!
Post # 5
Step back for a few days if you need to. Ours is planned and we’re just counting down the days, and I still sometimes feel like I’m over the whole thing. Guys are different– my FI didn’t really have an opinion on most things, and my friend and her fiance’ are wedding crazy together.
Can you give him a few things to research (venue or catering options) or handle on his own or are you wanting to have your hands on everything? Talk to him about your feeling overwhelmed and let him know when he can help you. You can print off a sheet from one of the (many) wedding planning websites of things that need to be chosen and booked to show him what you’re dealing with if you need to, and just let him know that if you both want to have a wedding/reception/etc. , these are the things that have to be taken care of, and you can’t and shouldn’t do it all alone. FI and I agree that if we can get through the wedding planning, marriage should be a piece of cake 😉
FI said from the beginning that he didn’t really have any vision of what it should look like, and he was fine with me bouncing ideas off of him, but that this was more my thing. If I had several options and couldn’t decide on something, he’d help, or we’d figure out what direction we wanted to go in. And, of course, before I signed any contracts or made any major decisions (other than my dress) I presented our options to him and let him know if I had a preference and why. That’s kind of how everything’s been so far. I did “assign” him the rehearsal dinner and the reception entertainment. He and my brother handled most of that because brother is doing uplighting/gobo monogram, etc. for us for free (YAY!) because that’s part of his job and he can just borrow it from work, so they needed to work on that part together. I also asked my Dad to choose the song for our father-daughter dance and let FI and my brother know because I planned everything else and I want a surprise!
One of the few things that FI did have an opinion on was NOT doing a “first look” and going the traditional route of not seeing me until the ceremony. That was surprising to me. He and I sat down at the beginning and decided where our priorities were (mine- photography, his- food!) and allocated everything accordingly.
Best of luck!!!
Post # 6
Take a deep breath, I promise it will get better. I felt like this too but it’s all worth it. I was so sick of everything wedding and would just do stuff little by little. Now that the wedding is over, it was perfect.
Post # 7
@lawbride88: Yep. Been there. With FI, with being overwhelmed, with everyone whining at me, making requests and asking inane questions.
DRIVES ME CRAZY. And THIS is why women become Bridezillas. That is all.
Post # 8
You just need to take it one step at a time. It will get done, and it will be awesome, as long as you keep it simple to start with and then add more as you have time.
To start, do you already have your dress?
Post # 9
@EffieTrinket: No, no dress yet 🙁
Post # 10
I’ve been there before. My FI wanted to big wedding and I simply wanted to go to the courthouse. I mean… we have been together for 7 years! Needless to say he hasn’t helped much. I sometimes have to just put all of the things for the wedding away and not look at it and try not to think about it for a couple weeks.
Post # 11
@lawbride88: I’m right here with you lady, had the crap scared out of me at 3am, I’m running on two hours of sleep, my car is in the shop getting repaired to the tune of $500, my sister’s dog gave all three of my dogs kennel cough, I have my period and my boss, who is also my Dad, hollered at me first thing I walked in the door and I cried like an eight year old…I’m tired, bleeding and have runny mascara…I hate today!
Post # 12
@lawbride88: Well, decide if you’re serious about eloping. If not, that’s the first thing you should start with. That part doesn’t have to be the epic journey some on the Bee undertake. It can be as simple as taking an afternoon and visiting two or three places, and just picking whatever looks best. Or you could even try Craigslist if you’re on a budget and don’t mind a secondhand dress. Why don’t you set a goal to have ordered a dress by Christmas? I bet you will feel a lot better, as many of the decisions about your wedding can flow from the type of dress you select.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@lawbride88: Hey lady! Yup, I definitely went through a phase where I was like, “HOW much are we spending on a single party?!? Not worth it!” But imagining having all our friends and family in a single place, and hearing how excited they all are to come celebrate with us, really highlights how this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that’s worth spending some money on.
You really don’t have to do too much right now. Just try to nail down a venue, caterer, photographer soonish. All the other stuff (including a dress) can wait for a while. (You can buy off the rack or at a secondhand bridal store.) In general, you can definitely take a step back for a few days when you feel overwhelmed!
Or if you both really would prefer to elope and wouldn’t regret not having all your family etc there (excuse the double negative), go for it!!
Post # 14
Yep, I’ve been there. In the beginning he seemed to only comment when he wanted me to do more research, work, etc. What worked for us was planning a “wedding free” date night. Go out with your FI and have a little fun-remind yourself what married life will be like (i.e. not like planning a wedding!).
Post # 15
I swear by this book:
It really helped me to organize and attack the wedding in a methodical way.
That said, if you really don’t want the wedding…why have the wedding?!
We want a wedding (aka hugest party of our lives with all the awesome people we know) and we’re having a nice time planning it. FI isn’t super involved, but he’s gotten excited about things like food and welcome bags and things.
Post # 16
@Nona99: aww ((hugs)). sounds like my day could get worse! Hope that you have a better day tomorrow!