Post # 1
Okay, so I know I can’t be alone in this, but I’m feeling just stressed right now. My FI and I have been engaged for 6 months now, but I’ve been living away from him. Just got back in December. We’ve been talking about details and planning for months, but now that we actually started doing things… it feels like we bicker on something wedding-related or sort of wedding-related every other day. He wants to be very actively involved, which is awesome, and I love, but now it’s not just my voice planning. It’s his too. And I know I’m having a hard time letting go. =/
Sigh. Other things are aggravating the problem, as in my unemployment and my personal family drama. But it’s starting to have a connection to all things wedding.
p.s. As I write this, there is a ~25 person line at Sbux. Yikes.
Post # 3
It’s hard not getting your own way all the time! I have had some (in my mind) brilliant ideas for our wedding and when I mention them to my FI he raises one eyebrow, looks at me and asks ‘but why?’ or just shakes his head in dislike. Usually I find the reason he rejects my ideas is either for a good practical reason or because I haven’t explained my vision properly. When you spend a lot of time thinking about weddings, surfing the internet etc it’s easy to build up a picture in your mind and let your imagination run wild but you probably need to start from the beginning and explain what you mean to your FI so he can catch up with you. And in our case, it’s turned out the man has had some brilliant ideas himself.
You guys still have a long time to go so why don’t you take a break for a couple of weeks and just relax. Or try to only talk about wedding plans on say Sundays or Wednesdays. It’s important that you still talk about other things, you don’t want your relationship to be only about the wedding for the next 9 months…
Post # 4
Ps I’m a coffee addict too but today I’m working from home with my wonderful espresso machine so it’s cappuccinos on tap! Poor FI when he comes home to my caffeine high tonight.
Post # 5
we bicker a lot more than normal when one of us is overwhelmed and stressed. take a step back every once in awhile and remind youself what’s important – your marriage, not your wedding.
Post # 6
This happened to us too (similar story, down to the employment situation). My DH didn’t have opinions about everything (didn’t care too much about the DIY projects, decor, etc) but was very interested in the stuff we registered for (the topic of some of our biggest “discussions”) and we had some minor family issues that caused me a lot of anxiety. I’m telling you this because what you’re feeling is normal. Sometimes an invitation suite is just an invitation suite and sometimes its more. What I found is that a lot of the stuff we were butting heads on were things that had to do with how we envisioned our lives moving forward (our house, formality of events (wedding and otherwise), family relations).
My advice to stop the madness is to take a break. Seriously. Take a break for a week (or more) and organize a date night and try to not talk about the wedding at all. Reconnect. You’ll both feel better.
PS: I feel you on the coffee issue. And now, thanks to this post, I must make myself a pot. Yum! 😀
Post # 7
for me, i have this overall vision in my head, and i have to remember it isnt the same vision Mr. Meowerson may have in his head. i appreciate the fact that he wants to be involved, but it can get frustrating when he doesn’t like my ideas (like the late night snack!!!) i guess we should just be grateful we have involved guys?
Post # 8
Oh my!! This situation is so me and my FI at the moment! He just left to go to work and like usual we are mad at each other over the guest list!! I can’t take it no more. Our list was set to be at 140 but he keeps adding and gets upset. I think it’s something we just can’t avoid while planning a wedding, but we need to find a solution because I am so DONE with all the constant bickering!
Post # 9
Thanks ladies. We had a really good weekend – had our tasting at the reception hall with both sets of parents. It was great. You are all definitely right though. It’s going to be hard 🙂 but I really do need to just stop for a few days/week, etc.
@Karina27 – I can’t even tell you how much I empathize. We could easily have a 300 person wedding, but we capped at 120 for budget reasons, and we’re already up to 156. The best advice I can give you is just for both of you to take a breath and realize at some point, you’ll have to let go. I realized this weekend, that I would much rather have 15 more people than colored napkins, for example.
Post # 10
Our engagement was the worst time of our relationship. We were fighting so much more about the dumbest things – all having to do with the wedding. It was extremely stressful and we both felt like we were being pulled in a million directions. Once we got married it all melted away and we are much happier!