(Closed) Overwhelmed and it’s just the beginning

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

my best advice is to not get overwhelmed by all of the info and ideas you will get from this site and others.  stay true to your vision, plan and budget.  you do not need everything monogramed or matching.  you don’t need flower centerpieces or a huge cake.  this day is for you – make it what you want…and don’t feel pressure on all the ‘amazing’ details that another bride had at her wedding.  my wedding felt perfect until i started comparing it to everybody else’s – BIG MISTAKE. it is, after all, about the marriage.  stay true to all of the ideals you and your Fiance believe in and envision and you will be A-OK.

Post # 4
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

The best thing that I did was dedicate a notebook just for wedding planning stuff — not those big binders you see sold in stores, just a little journal where I could write myself to-do lists and take notes at meetings with vendors. It’s great because it keeps me on task and is small enough for me to tote around in my purse! That way if I ever have a free evening (or five minute break at work) I can go right to my latest to do list, make a call or do some research and cross something off.

Post # 5
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I was completely overwhelmed at first, but once I got a few things done, I started to feel much better.  Perhaps as you progress, you will feel like the work is more do-able.  You will get the hang of it, just stay organized.  Of course, the bees are a great resource anytime you get stuck.  Happy planning!

Post # 6
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wish I could give you great advice – but sadly I dont think I can

I got engaged last April and was planning a desitnation wedding (probably one of the easiest things to do) and I still got so overwhelmed! so much that I actually called the wedding off, and ended up splitting with my fiance for a couple of months because it made me freak out so much!

I wish that on no one! It was the HARDEST couple of months that I have ever had in my life!

Now with planning out wedding again, the main difference is my finance is basically there by my side through every planning detail. I actually think he has gone to more meetings etc than I have! he has been to the invitations, the cake, the flowers! everything, he just wants to make sure for 1, that me being over whelmed doesnt have to happen again, and 2 to make it a fun process for the both of us. It doesnt have to be stressfull or overwhelming. You just need to find your balance!

I wish you all the luck, and I know the bees will be there for you! hug!

Post # 7
51 posts
Worker bee

Yes, ALL of your time becomes consumed with wedding planning!  I think the first thing you need to do is to get organized.  My Maid/Matron of Honor gave me a binder with tabs for venue, florist, dresses, music etc.  I printed out a calendar and set due dates for things (send invitations, finish place cards, etc) and it really helped to see how much time I actually had.  I had lots of friends and family to help and support me – that’s what got me through it!

Post # 8
4 posts
  • Wedding: June 1009

Okay, first bit of advice: you ready?




Done? Okay, next: get out a pen and some paper and make a list of the 5 most important to you regarding wedding (i.e., food, music, etc.) and then prioritize. You don’t NEED a 7-course meal, a 12-piece jazz band, and 500 guests. Have the fiance do the same, and see what you guys want most out of your day of celebration.


But most importantly, make sure you don’t get too caught up in the details. It’s alright if the flower girl runs down the aisle or the food doesn’t look perfect. The point of a wedding is to get married to the one you love and to begin a new chapter in your relationship with that person. Enjoy it! And the time goes fast. Have fun!! 

Post # 9
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

My advice (which may sound more like sacrilege around here): Take a break from all other wedding sites, the bee included.  Take a couple of days (or a week if you can really do it) and make a list of your priorities.

My engagement is a little over 6 months, and I was so stressed out at the beginning.  I printed out to-do lists and then created my file so that the knot wasn’t telling me that I needed to have secured 2/3 of my vedors 8 weeks before i was engaged.

It’s totally possible to do this on a shorter time schedule, and it’s possible to do it while still being you (and not in bride-mode all the time).  In another month or two, you’ll get some breathing room.

Good luck! 

Post # 10
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Try to not compare your planning process with that of brides who’ve been at it for years. And don’t pay any heed to the wedding timelines on places like the knot. You’re on a much shorter timeline, and there is nothing wrong with that! I signed up for the knot timeline at 7 months and it told me I had 200 items that were overdue!

For me I made a lot of great decisions, and I made a lot of them relatively fast (venue, photographer). It can be done! The one thing I wish I had taken more time with is my wedding dress. I agree with others that you need to prioritize. So many details from your day are going to fade from memory after the big day. I barely remember my centerpieces, for example. But two very important ones were the dress and the photographer. Think about what’s going to be important to you after it’s over. A good rule is that if you didn’t know to worry about it before weddingbee, then it’s probably not a big important detail. 


Post # 11
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I got stressed with money then my fiance said not to stress to much and its not about that it made me put things into perspective


so now I’m checking things off, venue, check, photographer, check, videographer, check, car, check, church reservation, check


it feels good when you go down the list and start to check things off


good luck, just do thing sone by one, whne yuo make  adeicision stick by it , dont double guess yourself, Ive had that happen a few times to me 



Post # 12
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I know that 7-8 months is a short engagement for most but the way I see it is that you’re lucky. My engagement will have been 14 months by the time I get married and I think it has just been too overwhelming as it gives so much time to stress out and pick apart the details. With a shorter engagement you have less time to worry! That probably sounds weird, but just think about it – you will just DO it instead of going back and forth as much with ideas.

If I could start from the beginning I think I would prefer that! Right when I hit 6.5 months to the date I began obsessing and losing sleep all the time, I have never recovered and still have major insomnia over wedding details; though I have calmed a bit, surprisingly, as I get closer. This wedding stuff is so stressful 🙂

Good luck to you and your FI!

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