Post # 1
Ok. I just need to vent right now because I don’t know no where else to do it.
I feel overwhelmed with planning. I spend countless hours reading blogs, boards, getting inspiration. I have 28696396 ideas in my head and obsess over all the small details. But yet I still feel llike I get nothing done in making these ideas a reality. I can’t make any decisions on the details, and when I do, I change my mind 2896798798 times. I am putting so much pressure on myself to make this the wedding of the year, but I fear it will just fall flat. I see all these goregous weddings on stylemepretty, marthastewart, ruffledblog and want mine to be just as pretty, but I’m afraid it won’t. And I know this is so trivial. Our wedding is about my fiance and I starting our life together, not about the centerpieces we have, or what type of invitations we send. Yet, I still worry daily about every single one of those details.
Plus, I know this is completely self-imposed. The reality is no one but me is going to notice if this was tied that way or if everything completely fit some set theme. Regardless though, I obsess over it all, again and again. It has gotten to the point that somedays at work I do NO WORK AT ALL- Instead, I scour the internet looking for whatever is going to seem like the perfect detail and that moment- waiting until the next time I’ll scratch that idea and look for something else, and quite frankly, that’s crazy. A wedding is supposed to be a joyous time, not some thing that causes you stress. How do I make this stop bees? I want so badly for everything to be perfect even though I already know I found perfection in my fiance. He is what matters. Our life together is what matters, So why am I driving myself mad trying to make everything so perfect, when I already found perfection?
I just want to cry. I feel like I am wasted so much time in the last 7 months planning but still feel like nothing has gotten accomplished. I have so much anxiety about it all. How do I make it stop? =/
Post # 3
It’s tough. I went through this and I think most every bride does at some point. I had a much shorter planning period then you (Only 6 months really), but I had days like that too.
Just remember that your wedding day is just ONE day and while it’s a great time to party/enjoy time with family and friends and it definitely is the start of a new page in your life, it really is only ONE day. It’s the days and years that follow it that are the most important. So take a deep breath, and try to take a break from the planning for a bit. 🙂
Post # 4
I can really relate to your struggles. Wedding planning IS very overwhelming. Most of us have never done anything like this before. It can be really exciting but it can also create a lot of stress. I think we put so much pressure on ourselves and that we can easily lose our true focus by being wrapped up in the details.
Hopefully you have gotten more accomplished than you think you have. Have you tried any of those list thingy’s that break down the steps into month by month sections? Maybe that could help. Also, perhaps you could reach out to friends or family or your wonderful FI for some added support?
I truly hope you’ll find a way to be able to enjoy the process because it really can be fun too!
Post # 5
Stop looking at the websites for a while and start focusing on your to-do list. If you don’t look at all of the perfectly staged pictures on all of the wedding sites, you will start to feel better.
Post # 6
I find I’m doing a lot of this right now too. Until a week ago I was torturing myself, as our venue meant a lot of the things I was looking at were totally unsuitable. Now we’ve a new venue, and I’m going to make miles of bunting, my friend is doing a dessert buffet, and I found the perfect bunting invitation template for free.
I took a while to get to the point, I know, but here it is: have you booked elements of your wedding that you’re unsure of? I was, and once I sorted out the venue issue it all fell into place. I’m still wasting time looking at the blogs, but I’ve a better eye now for what can work for me. I say go through your choices, see if you are hand on heart happy with what you’re getting for your money, then work on maybe revising your to-do list. For all my dithering, I do have most of the big stuff sorted – go me, a whole 12 weeks out haha!
Best of luck, chick.
Post # 7
It’s as if I wrote this, myself!!!! I second guess EVERY single wedding decision I make. I have realized once a decision is made, there is no going back. I must check it off my list and move on, otherwise I will never get anything accomplished. (and there’s sooooo much to do) My biggest fear is that I will wake up with a tacky looking wedding….since I’m so super indecisive I stick with “safe” options. Like I’m afraid of color so I choose black bridesmaids dresses. I drive my maid of honor nuts! When I simply can’t decide I email options to my MOH or my BMs. (which ever in my option I feel has more experience to give the best response) I usually feel better and more sure then.
And always remember to BREATHE!!!
Post # 8
I wrote this post about 2 months before my wedding. 🙂 I know how you feel. I was a huge ball of nerves and crazy. NOT a good time.
I’ll give you the same advice that some very wise ‘Bees gave me at the time: take a break. Decide to not look at any wedding websites (even weddingbee, if that adds to your anxiety), blogs or vendors. Try not to talk about it and reconnect with your FH through date nights and fun times. Seriously. I know that this sounds hard and, at first, it will seem like you’re slacking off, but it is so worth it. You will come back to the planning recharged, with more perspective.
Also, give yourself permission to not like every single aspect of planning (or any of it!). It’s not all invitations and dress purchases and fun times. Some of it can suck. It’s okay. Really.
I was never able to find this book (it was sold out in all of my local Indigo/Chapters store, so obviously the topic is popular), but the website helped me- Search for”The Conscious Bride”. I felt a lot better when I realised that while society says that this is supposed to be wonderful time, full of rainbows and starshine, it can sometimes (or often) be a scary, overwhelming, and anxious time.
Realise that you can always come here (at the risk of sounding sappy) and vent about stuff. That’s what this place is for. 🙂
Post # 9
@ArwenBride: OMG! Great advice
Post # 10
@ArwenBride: Really great advise-especially the suggestion to just take a break from it all for a bit. Thanks.
Post # 11
All Ladies here, I got married in August and my wedding planner was the BEST BEST BEST. She was not expensive at all and she allowed my husband and I time to be together.
I did not do any stressing or crying, she made my wedding enjoyable for everyone. I did only what I WANTED to.
let me know if u want her info, advise get a WEDDING PLANNER
Post # 12
Hey Bees! Yes planning can be very stressful. Each category items that you look at, you should be able to narrow done to your top three. Never exceed your top three, so if you come across another centerpiece idea that you like…give up one of the current three.
Set a planning timeline that is realistic for you; focus on completing one area per every two weeks.
I am a planner and for my brides that contract me for Month of Coordination early I customize a personal planning calendar for them and follow up with them throughout and as we get closer. If you plan early and can hire a planner do so, honestly it is best to meet with 1-3 planners for a free consultation and you will determine if you would like to invest in a planner. You can save time/stress/ money and peace of mind as you weight the cost and investment. However before you hire a planner, keep in mind this person will function as your BFF for the next few months.
Happy Planning, we wish you the best!
Post # 13
No worries, guys. I’m glad I could help at all. 🙂
Post # 14
Thank you all for such wonderful wonderful advice. Its been a rough few days. On top of all this wedding stress, my FI have been doing long distance for the past 8 months and he is finally moving in with me this weekend YAY! I think that the stress of all the details on top of my anticipation of finally being with him full time just made for a hard 48 hours. And that good night phone call to him on Wednesday reiterated even more that our wedding is not about any of those details on Style me Pretty (ok just a few? =P). It is about us. Because without us, there would be no wedding. Our guests are coming to share the day with us and not our details, and so I hope in what I’m sure will be future moments of panic, I can remember that. I love my FI. He loves me. We are embarking on what I know will be an incredible life together. No where in those three sentences does it say anything about petty details.
Thank you again all for your reassuring words and helpful advice! I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend!