Weddingbee boards

I am holding off to do full recaps till I get my pro-pics, but I wanted to talk about how things went that day.

The Good, or things that went well:

• We're married! As a practical skeptic and someone with a mild fear of commitment, I wasn't expecting this to really feel any different. We already live together and have acted like a married couple forever it seemed to me, and yet, actually being a "wife" and having the rings just feels different in a slightly indescribable way. Like we are this little team now. It's amazing.
• The weather was perfect! I picked that weekend basically because it has had consistently good weather for the last three years, and it worked out. Hot but not humid, blue skies and some light clouds. A little too breezy even. Not bad at all!Getting ready at the inn. I wasn't sure if I should spend money on a place to get dressed and take pics, especially as it just meant more stops and coordination. But it was nice and quiet and away from the bustle as people were still setting up that morning.
• The afterparty. I was bummed about how it all went down, and by the end of the day we were so exhausted we wondered why we bothered. But then we changed into comfy clothes, grabbed some potato skins and a drink, and sat around with our friends and it finally felt relaxed. The reception truly is a blur of going going going, so it was nice to socialize without having to be "on."
• The setting and the pergola. Everyone loved it.
• The food. I worried that people would think we cheaped out by doing it ourselves, but what little I had was delicious, and everyone else loved it! My uncle was over the moon about our pierogies (with a sign saying for my mom, his sister) and that's literally all he ate. I hear the cake was a hit, too.
• The music. Again, I was worried that people would miss a DJ or something, and I was just really stressed at the last minute about doing it myself since I don't already have a music library. I used Amazon downloads and it was a piece of cake. I loved that every time I caught a snippet of a song, it was something we liked and not a random filler song, and people were asking me for the playlist all night.
• We "wrote" our ceremony (OK, cobbled together from friends' and suggestions here and online snippets I'd found). And it was very touching and meaningful and didn't seem canned or awkward at all. I grinned like a fool through it all.
• My photographer! I can't say enough good things. She's very talented but also a joy to work with.

The Bad, or meh, this stuff could have gone better:

• Middle SIL, who gets married in the same spot (a family thing) in October, threw a small fit and refused to read that morning. My sister stepped in and it was not a big deal, but MSIL likes to play the woe is me no one likes me game, and we went out of our way to include her. She also started telling people that she wants to use our arch as her something borrowed, even though she never talked about it with us, and um, no, that is so not going to happen. So then when I say no, I get this surprised look from the in-laws because she already told everyone it was going to happen so who looks like the jerk? Not her. But c'mon, get your own focal point. It was a labor of love for DH and BIL, and it's special to us.
• I think I could have done a better job than my florist. I paid for bigger sizes and was not impressed at all. She also used this ugly filler leaf that we had never talked about. And the white roses opened to peach centers through the day. The flowers I got from 50 Flowers were nicer, and I wish I would have done it all myself. Oh, well.
• The decor. I am still not sure how I feel about some of this. I spent so much time and effort on this, and it kind of fell apart because I wasn't there to handle it. Just as I knew it would, and probably why I was nauseous all day and got no sleep the night before. We had done mock-ups before hand so MIL could direct, but it wasn't really how I pictured it. I know this is probably a silly detail, but I worked so hard at it only for it to have been kind of moot in the end. The table numbers were put in the center with clear vases on either side, so the milkglass, which was supposed to be the central attraction, was pushed to the ends of the tables like an afterthought. The table numbers were supposed to go at the ends, not be the main focus! And it was too windy for place settings so they piled the stuff in with the flowers. Lame. Also, My cake stand was too small, and I told her to just build all four tiers like usual and forgo the stand if it wouldn't work. She asked about putting the largest tier on the table next to the stand and putting the smaller three tiers on the stand. I specifically said no to this. I flat out told her that I'd rather her not use the stand at all than do this... yeah, guess what she did? The cake was delicious but I was so disappointed when I saw it.
• In the rush of the day, I definitely did not get some of the posed pics I wanted. It's my own fault because my photographer asked me in advance, but with everything going on, I just wasn't very thorough. Also, I should have practiced more. I make really stupid faces when I'm not paying attention, and just seeing some guest pics, I fear that I ruined a lot of my own pics.
• 15 no shows. 9 of them had legit health/travel excuses but it was still disappointing. The other 6... meh. It worked out OK but I would rather have had RSVP no than people just not show up.

The Ugly, or things that still make me mad:

• FedEx lost my flowers two days before the wedding. The ones I ordered in bulk. I spent 2 hours on the phone with about 6 different representatives, and they were rude and unhelpful and it was a nightmare. The driver pulled in just as we were getting ready to drive 2 hrs to their nearest office. He was like "never call the 1800 number, they don't know anything." Great, thanks.
• We did a ribbon ceremony ("tied the knot") instead of sand or candles, and despite texting Pastor and having previously told people to make sure he got a ribbon, he didn't. I had a back-up ribbon with my bridesmaid just in case, but I thought he handled it so unprofessionally. When we arrived via schoolbus, when everyone turned to look, he walked back and chatted me up. I was livid. First, it's not like I could have done anything about it at that point, so why come ask me? Second, we looked like idiots just sitting there and it totally ruined the entrance. His gram, who had driven the bus and gotten off just before this, made some joke about how quiet it was on the bus. Not happy about that, but hopefully it covered up some of our conversation. THANK GOD we had a first look before hand so at least I still got to see my husband's face. I snarled something like "This wasn't supposed to happen this way" (AKA we had a rehearsal so you could figure this stuff out, duh) and he replied in a snitty tone something like "well it is so too bad." Just ugh.
• Nothing was lit. This goes along with the decor, but it just bugs me so much that no one lit the candles. It's one thing to not set it up right, but I hate unlit candles. It's like why bother at all? Hate. Also, my hanging lanterns didn't stay lit. This is no one's fault -- the breeze was so strong, they were swaying and banging each other and I think they just blew the bulbs. But again, it sucked that I spent so much time and money on it to be pointless.
• His cousin was not invited. Specifically, we told his aunt DO NOT BRING HER. Well, she came and in the middle of our first dance, she walked up to us to hand us one of the lights that had come out of a lantern and fallen. In the middle of the dance! ARGH.

Overall, I was stressed all day except the ceremony and the afterparty. I didn't sleep or eat hardly, and it was just too much bustling for me. I also hate working a room. However, it was wonderful to see family that I don't see as often as I'd like. Everyone really seemed to have a good time. I admit that it was great to hear all the comments of surprise at how we did it all ourselves or how different but beautiful it was. It was very touching especially for DH because a few guys who are your ubertypical man's man who don't do emotion came out for it. One of these guys didn't even go to his nephew's wedding. And DH and I had a great time together, of course. But mostly, I am so glad it's over. Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I so do not understand the post wedding slump. Maybe being engaged for 2 years has just burned me out on my own wedding, but I am so sick of hearing about it! I look forward to selling my stuff and reclaiming some personal space (and cash) and getting our pics back and moving on with my life! We have jobs and travels and hobbies to figure out. While it may be an end, it's also a wonderful beginning, and that's what I keep smiling about!

(And I totally do not expect people to read this entire novel; it just felt good to get it out!)

@MrsSl82be: I know! I swore I'd eat and enjoy it all. Ha. The only cake I got was what DH fed me when we cut it. And we wanted to go around to all the tables, so that cut dinner really short for us. I ate like 3 potato skins by the time we got to the afterparty because I was just so hungry.

@Georgia Bee: Oh, gosh, don't say that! I think we all do it to ourselves, though; seeing everyone's beautiful weddings on here always gives me the "oh that would have been a great idea" vibe. And thank you! We did work really hard, and it's such a compliment to hear it from other people. I do think my wedding was pretty awesome, and I'm not dwelling on what went wrong, but I had to get it out. I mean, most of The Ugly is like  did that really happen? I'm not wasting any stress on it -- every day since the wedding is the best night's sleep I've gotten in forever, and it keeps getting better haha.

You have inspired me to do my own epistle when the time comes. I got married a day after you. I saw one of your pictures in the classifieds and I loved your dress (I too wore a Pronovias)...oh, and I read your whole post :) Anyhow, I guess I'm in the minority, I do have a post wedding slump only because I can sincerely say that my wedding day was the happiest day of my life. I know other bees say it and I always took it with a grain of salt but as you said, seeing all those people there together that you don't get to spend time with, hearing all the compliments, seeing how beautiful and happy you both look, it does give a high :)