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We were going to do that before we found a rabbi who would actually agree to do what we wanted. Our dads were going to officiate, with help from lots of other people. It would've been a very interactive ceremony. I'd call your local courthouse about the self-uniting license -- apparently some counties don't like to give these out if you're not Quaker, while others have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
My nephew is using the city mayor! They can officiate weddings.
We had a similar dilemma and we decided to go with an officiant service. I'm in MN, but it may be something you can look up. My brother's officiant was one of his good friends who did the internet ordained thing and he suggested we use his friend, but for some reason I'm more comfortable with having a stranger do it than someone I kinda sorta know. So I guess I'd say look up someone who makes a business of doing that, the one we went with will do religious or non, she has all sorts of service types to choose from. I jsut googled it quick and got this website, it's somewhwere to start at least:
http://www.gatheringguide.com/event_directory/rc/pa_pennsylvania/evl_wedding_officiants.html
Best of luck!
Here is some info I came across for PA:
Marriage Ceremony
Persons qualified to solemnize marriages
(a) General rule.--The following are authorized to solemnize marriages between persons that produce a marriage license issued under this part:
b) Religious organizations.--Every religious society, religious institution or religious organization in this Commonwealth may join persons together in marriage when at least one of the persons is a member of the society, institution or organization, according to the rules and customs of the society, institution or organization.
(c) Marriage license needed to officiate.--No person or religious organization qualified to perform marriages shall officiate at a marriage ceremony without the parties having obtained a marriage license issued under this part.
Here's some info I have on PA weddings:
Marriage Ceremony:
1503. Persons qualified to solemnize marriages.
(a) General rule.--The following are authorized to solemnize marriages between persons that produce a marriage license issued under this part:
A justice, judge or district justice of this Commonwealth.
A former or retired justice, judge or district justice of this Commonwealth who is serving as a senior judge or senior district justice as provided or prescribed by law.
An active or senior judge or full-time magistrate of the District Courts of the United States for the Eastern, Middle or Western District of Pennsylvania.
An active or senior judge of the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit who is a resident of this Commonwealth.
A mayor of any city or borough of this Commonwealth.
A minister, priest or rabbi of any regularly established church or congregation.
(b) Religious organizations.--Every religious society, religious institution or religious organization in this Commonwealth may join persons together in marriage when at least one of the persons is a member of the society, institution or organization, according to the rules and customs of the society, institution or organization.
(c) Marriage license needed to officiate.--No person or religious organization qualified to perform marriages shall officiate at a marriage ceremony without the parties having obtained a marriage license issued under this part.
Have you tried looking up celebrants? If you haven't heard about them, celebrants are officiants who can tailor the ceremony to your own tastes and values, whether religious or not. We are using a fantastic one in NYC, and she sits down and works on the ceremony word-for-word with us. Try visiting www.celebrantusa.com- you should be able to look up officiants by location.
Good luck and hope this helps!!
pic1.jpg (50.3 KB, 43 downloads) 2 years old
We got the Quaker License and are having a friend lead the ceremony but I've also read about people that use the entire audience with the Quaker jawn. They say their vows first and then welcome anyone to speak and then just thank everyone when they're done...Could be a little chaotic but the results sounded nice. Or you could get a family member to do it or have both halves of the family share the responsibility, really joining you together as families literally and symbolically.....Or like Candi1024 said, you can use the mayor... Essentially since the Quaker license is "Self uniting" anyone can do it....maybe someone who has been a role model to either or both of you would be good? Someone you both look up to...or someone you just get a good vibe from...I read about a girl who asked her yoga teacher to officiate! Friends of ours had a buddhist do it for them...(I think they found him online...) Good luck!!!
Did you know that you don't actually need "an officiant" for a Quaker license? I mean, if you're going this route, you guys can simply go up there and say your vows yourselves. It's a little untraditional, but totally do-able. Then you can do what hubandwif was saying and get many guests participating in different parts of the ceremony (all the guests pronounce you husband and wife together, etc.).
My friend had the same exact issue. They are getting married outside (in PA) and wanted a totally non-denominational ceremony. They found a judge to marry them.
Thanks for all of the great ideas, everyone. For whatever reason, I think I'm also more comfortable with a stranger, so I'll look into celebrants or see if I can find a retired judge or something. If anyone knows of someone in the Pittsburgh area.....Thanks, all!
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Hi everyone! One of the hardest things for me so far has been in deciding what to do about an officiant. Neither FI or I are very religious so we’re planning a non-religious ceremony at an outdoor location. Now the problem: who officiates?!? Originally, I wanted to avoid having anyone religious officiate – it just seemed a bit awkward to me - but I’m finding it extremely hard to find someone who’s not. I also found out about the Quaker self-uniting license in PA, which allows you to marry without an officiant. We’d just need someone to help lead the ceremony (similar to an internet-ordained friend, I think, which isn't allowed in PA) but I just can’t think of anyone I’d feel comfortable asking to do it. We have plenty of time to decide but I was just wondering if anyone else is facing a similar problem? It's stressing me out! Any suggestions on what to do?
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