Post # 1
I never thought that I would be writing a post like this.
Last night, I packed enough clothes through the weekend and left my home for a hotel. I talked in another post about the issues that my Fiance and I have been having, but they have gone from bad to worse. He is dealing with depression and anger and I feel that he is taking it out on me and our relationship. Out of no where he started being dismissive, unaffectionate and sometimes mean over the last week. Anytime I try to talk about things, he gets more angry…he’s pushed me away.
When I asked him to go to counseling with me, he said he doesn’t think he’s in a good place to do that and doesn’t know if he wants to work to save our relationship. I couldn’t stand to stay in the house with him another night. So I packed my stuff and left. I know that I’m not the problem, he’s been going through a lot of the last year, including major health issues, financial issues, death in the family, but he’s taking it out on me. I think that the stress of planning a wedding made things worse and I’m the easiest thing to lash out at right now.
I don’t even know if we’re still engaged. I want to save our relationship, but I’m not sure that he wants to. All I know is that our communication is non-existent and I need to be away from him… I’m devastated…
Post # 3
Oh My!!! Your poor thing! I’m so sorry that this is happening! Maybe the best thing is o be apart for a while until he’s willing to talk things through? Just trying to help *hugs*
Post # 4
So sorry to hear this. In my experience, the best thing to do when you are uncertain of what to do is nothing. Sounds like you should take some space apart and maybe avoid talking about the issues with him until you have both had some breathing room. Take some “you time’ right now
Post # 5
I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with this! *hugs*
It sounds like you are being very smart about the situation, so take comfort in that. And remember that everything truly happens for a reason, even if it hurts now.
Post # 6
You did the right thing by leaving. Not leaving HIM per se. You really need some time to yourself and him to himself. Give each other a LOTTTTT of breathing room. Let him approach you when he is of a rational and sound mind. THEN discuss.
and more importantly –> *hugs*
Post # 7
No matter what happens with him, at least you know you had the strength to do what was best for yourself, which a lot of women can’t say. I hope things get better, whether you stay with him or not, but good for you for standing up for yourself.
Post # 8
You did the right thing. I agree with the posted that said that the best thing to do when you’re upset is to do nothing. You don’t want to act out of anger.
Post # 9
I am so sorry honey. I think you did the right thing here. Just remember, you did nothign wrong. I hope he gets better soon. Stay strong lady!!!
Post # 10
Most important thing in the relationship is to feel safe and trusted, when you loose etheir, its time to hit the road. It doesn’t have to be forever, but I’m glad you did what you did!
Stay close to family and friends! Praying for you-((hugs))
Post # 11
I’m so sorry, but good for you for standing up for yourself by leaving! I wish you the best.
Post # 12
Thanks for the support everyone! Everything is still up in the air. I’m staying with a friend now and just trying to focus on myself.
Post # 13
Oh my goodness I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I went through the same situation a year ago for similar reasons. His parents divorce was very messy. It had him taking out his frustration on me and being very neglectful with our son. I left with little warning and we ended up living apart for three months before it blew over. A lot was said in anger that we both regret now so whatever you do try to avoid that. It made rebuilding a very hard process. Just try to focus on you,have patience, and give him his space. I hope it works out. *hugs*
Post # 14
@BrnSgrGrl: *hugs* you did the right thing and maybe that will give him the wake up call that he needs. i know with Fiance last time we had a big argument where he said some things just to be hurtful and bully me i startedd packing. that seemed to be what he needed to realize im not his scapegoat. good luck to ya hunny and enjoy your time with your friend. think of it as a mini vacation
Post # 15
Good for you for caring enough about yourself to not allow yourself to be treated poorly! I know that everyone can snap or say or do things they don’t mean when they are stressed. But in my opinion, it is not okay to treat someone poorly and to be mean to the person you love when your stressed. You did the right thing whether it’s temporary or permanent. Hopefully he will get the counseling he needs and I hope things work out between yall. If they don’t, take it from me, life is a lot happier and easier when your significant other handles stressful times with humour, love, compromise, respect, and listening. It took me awhile to find it but I did and he’s the best thing that ever happened to me… it will happen to you too!
Post # 16
🙁 Omg Im so sorry tht ur going through this, I teared up while I Read that 🙁 *hug* Things WILL get better though.. He will realize hopefully what hes been doing wrong and what hes losing if he doesnt and hopefully start seeking help.. When you guys do talk again, make it clear to him that you do ned him to see someone atleast for a little bit to make things better..This is for his sake first and foremost.. We all love our SO’s but your starting a marriage life and u dont want depression and resentement to be the initial feelings you start your marriage out with..
Good luck hun.. and * MORE HUGS* to you!