(Closed) Paid Dating Websites vs. Free Dating Websites – advice for a friend

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: If you met your SO online - which site did you use?
    Free Dating Website : (8 votes)
    38 %
    Paid Dating Website : (12 votes)
    57 %
    Other (comment below) : (1 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I met my husband on PoF! But I do agree, there are a lot of losers on there or people who aren’t really serious. It was pretty much pure luck that I met my husband on that site

    Post # 4
    Member
    2580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I do have friends who have had great luck on PlentyofFish or OKCupid, but I have also heard from them that they had to weed through a lot of creeps. Of course there are creeps on paid sites, too–I saw plenty myself! I kind of feel like in general, though, people who are looking for something more casual may be more likely to look into free sites instead of paying $50/month for a membership.

    My husband and I met on a paid site (jDate), but I actually had a trial membership so I never paid for it πŸ™‚ I think our case may be a little different though, because the site specifically caters to such a small group of people (it’s a Jewish site) and doesn’t have anywhere near as many members as something like Match.

    Post # 5
    Member
    13101 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I would think the fact the one has to pay would weed out a lot of losers who aren’t serious.  Who wants to pay monthly if they aren’t actually trying to find a relationship?

    ETA: I have not used an online dating service of any type so this is purely my instincts.

    Post # 6
    Member
    263 posts
    Helper bee

    I tried one paid site and one free site after my divorce.

    The paid one had a lot of “fake” profiles that are created by the site to lure people in. You would get an email saying you had a message from a guy, and when you look at the profile, he’s perfect. Except… he’s not real.

    I had really good luck on OkCupid, and met my new SO there! They have a “wall” feature that lets you find people in a much more natural way than searches.

    Also, I found more creeps on the paid site. It seemed like they didn’t care who was using the site, since they had your money. The free sites have a reputation to maintain and you can tell (at least on OkCupid) because creepers and people who create joke profiles to make fun of other people get kicked off really quickly.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2065 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I met my husband on Match so I’m biased. πŸ™‚ I have friends that have met their SO’s on okcupid/plentyoffish, but it can take a little bit more effort to weed through the crap since it’s free. I tried okcupid and match. The match guys seemed more interested in starting relationships. But yeah, you’ll find your loser/jerks on paid sites too. I can’t tell you how many “hey baby gurl whatz up” emails I got from guys paying to be on the site!

    Post # 8
    Member
    8884 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I met my FI on POF πŸ™‚

    I never really thought of trying a paid site. I know it’s not always the case but there seems to be more creeps on those sites who assume people who pay are more desperate.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1508 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I met my husband on E-harmony. Penty of nice guys and some  creeps thown in. Most really wanted to find someone it seemed. They do have free match weekends and you can or at least you could a few years ago set up your profile for free.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4676 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I met my FI on match.

    I was trying both paid and unpaid sites (PoF, okcupid), but most of the dates I went on were from match.  I did feel like becuase it was a paid site that there would be more viable matches, or less creeps.  They are still there, but I think whatever you do to get you in the relationship that fits your needs (in my case, dating, engaged, ect) is worth it.  If she is having problems on one site concentrate on another for a few months! 

    Post # 11
    Member
    247 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    we were both on POF and eharmony…. but actualy connected on POF. Yes there are tons of losers on there, but god catches too. πŸ™‚

    perhaps her profile is attracting douchebags. I remember there used to be a forums on how to make a more successful profile.

    Post # 12
    Member
    7312 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I met plenty of weirdos and fun flings on the free dating sites, but found Mr. LK within 2 weeks of joining a paid site (eHarmony).  On eHarmony it was a much more serious atmosphere, and a lot less bs. Obviously, e Harmony worked for us. πŸ™‚

    Post # 13
    Member
    2786 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’ve never used one, but I know four couples who are in LTRs and who met on POF.

    Post # 14
    Member
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We met on Jdate, a paid site as well.  I was using the free version though where you could just create a profile and look at other’s but you couldn’t send and receive messages.  This was in the days of AIM so usually people would just make their Jdate name the same as their AIM screenname and communicate that way.  My husband was using the paid version so he was able to message me through the site and did.  And the rest is history!  Haha but I do think you can get good results either way.  My instinct tells me people paying for it are in general a little more serious?  But that surely is a gross generalization.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @phillygirl629:  I DID THE EXACT SAME THING! Haha, that is too funny. I actually used my AIM name on jDate for a trial membership too…back in the day, it was very effective.

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