painful sex after childbirth–how to deal?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m so sorry, I wish I could give you ideas but that is one of my major fears of having a baby is sex not being the same ever again. I could not imagine not having sex for 6 months, I’d go insane. Don’t let anyone make you think it’s not a problem, if you and your husband want to have sex, it is most definitely a problem.

I hope it all works out for you and your husband, that would be awful to get a divorce over. Hopefully it’s nothing major and is easily fixable, I know you have to wait 6 weeks at least after having a baby so hopefully you just still have a little healing left to do. Good luck to you!!!


Post # 4
6675 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

The only thing I can say is that 12 weeks is not that long. I’m sorry that you are having problems. After I had my babies sex didn’t hurt- but it didnt really get back to “normal” feeling for maybe 6 months. It is good that you are seeking a dr’s input.

Post # 5
3623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Here’s my thought– if you really want to go for it, go for it. Be gentle and have the ability to laugh at the situation as it doesn’t work. That way your husband will know you want him and are trying and who knows– you may have really bad, semi-painful sex which satisfies the itch for a week or two until you can figure out what is going on. In my book, bad sex is better than no sex.


If you can’t try (it is just too painful), I suggest you be open in talking about how much it sucks. Misery loves company and it will keep the openness there for when it no longer hurts.

Post # 7
1495 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hmm… have you thought about anal-sex? i know it’s not the best advice, but you could try it and maybe you’ll like it or at least it wont be painful.

Im sorry i cant say much :/

I hope you get better soon.

Post # 9
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012



 It was at least 12 weeks before i was able to have sex. It hurt. Used a ton of lube and was a quicky.


Honestly…it was close to 9 months before I started enjoying sex again..and now it is better thanever..there were times I just has to have sex, deal with it, and that was that.


There is nothing wrong with you. Some women just take longer to heal.  I totally get what you’re saying when it feels like the vaginal walls just wont loosen.same thing here. Such bad pelvic floor pain!


 Dont loose faith. Seeing the physical therapist will be a great benefit as well!*hugs*






Post # 10
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

Just remember that it’s all temporary. It’s going to be ok, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now. You’re taking good first steps to conquer this difficulty and you both should take a deep breath and have a little more patience.

Have you tried masturbating with or for each other? I know it’s not penetration, but watching you get off might scratch an itch for him, and it can be very erotic to be that exposed and vulnerable for each other– an intimate experience in a different way.

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