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Try to remember that we all judge ourselves more harshly then we judge others. You wouldn't go to a wedding and then stare at the bride and think bad things about her - so why would your guests? I know it's WAY, way easier to tell yourself these things then to believe them, but it's worth reminding yourself when you are feeling nervous.
Since you know you have a certain amount of time to get more comfortable with crowds, maybe you could use this as an inspiration to work on getting over this anxiety. You could see a therapist about it, or if that's not possible, try doing something you're nervous about every day until you start to get used to being the center of attention.
Would it help you to take dance lessons with your fiance so you feel more comfortable before dancing in front of a crowd?
@jeangenie thats very true. i dont feel like I am ugly or unattractive or anything just nervous around people. I actually think dance lessons with my hunny would be really good for me although I have butterflies thinking about it 
after about 60secs what about sharing your first dance with bridal party/parents of the B&G - throw in a couple of cute flower girl/boys the focus wont all be on you. would this idea help?
@eloping that sounds like a fun idea although just being up there would still make me really nervous. My FI is the exact opposite of me, he LOVES being the center of attention. I ma not sure how he would feel about other people stealing our shining moment.
I think your comfort level at your own wedding will surprise you! Do you think you'll feel the same way if close friends and family are present? They know you better than strangers at Walmart. ;) There will be so much love, happiness and fantasticness (yes, I just made up a word) that you'll lose track of yourself, time and inhibitions.
We took dance lessons because it's what I needed to do to feel comfortable dancing. I can be a total spaz and always felt like I had no coordination. And you know what? The lessons worked! They built up my confidence and gave me basic steps to follow. Letting go of my inhibitions was a tricky lesson to learn, but oh so worth it! At the end of our wedding, I had no dance regrets. Had we not done the lessons, I know I would have been definitely bummed with myself.
Definitely agree with jeangenie about working through shy situations as frequently as you can.
*hugs*
I think dance lessons, and picking a song you LOVE will help your nerves a lot. Are there any other occasions coming up beforehand where you can try to push your comfort zone a little (like giving a toast, a short presentation at work, etc.)??
It sounds like you would be most comfortable with a smaller, intimate wedding with close friends and family. Think of the $ you'd save too! :)
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
By Marianne Williamson
I feel your pain! I'm shy to the point of being paralyzed, so I'm stressing this too. I guess the main thing to remember is how happy you'll be on that day, and of course you have your FI there by your side. Just dance, have fun, and don't pay attention to everyone looking at you. Besides, they'll only be looking at you because they're happy for you, and youre the gorgeous bride!
you ladies are right, I need to push myself in situations where I would normally be shy or feel out of my element. I hope I can feel comfortable at my wedding (hoping, hoping, hoping).
Its so crazy because I am a cake decorator by profession and I am constantly in situations where I am on the phone or sitting down with clients, fiances, MIL, FIL, MOH and such. I honestly am nervous in those situations too but I get through it. I feel like I am just an awkward person which makes me uncomfortable. *sigh* pushing through it...
If you are still feeling uncomfortable about dancing as the date approaches, practice so that you feel like you know what you are doing and have the DJ/MC invite the wedding party to join you after about a minute. Then you won't be alone!
@MrsTCB THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POSTING THIS!!! YOU HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE!!!! In the second that I read that post it explained exactly how I feel and changed the way I think about myself. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!
@curse10kaia it is a pretty small affair only about 75 people.
@ashleetoo: aww! :)
you should watch Akeelah and the Bee. i know it's a kid's movie, but you may relate. i do and i watched it as an adult. movie therapy!
keep in touch and let us know how it goes.
this was the hardest part of our entire wedding for me. i was so nervous, but once we started to dance the entire room fell away and all i saw was his smile. :) hope you can get to that place! internet hugs!
I am so scared of the first dance too! I have no idea how I'm going to get through it. Everyone has told me to just have a little wine first and 10 seconds into the song my nerves will disappear because all I can think about is my husband...I hope that's true! :)
We did what eloping suggested. My DH hates dancing (not the attention thing so much, he is just unco and doesn't enjoy it - he didn't want to have lessons). So we gave our speeches and said "we're going to dance now, please don't leave us up there for too long", and had briefed our bridal party and close friends not to wait too long. We had maybe 30 seconds up there alone and honestly I just stared into his eyes and it was pretty easy to forget everyone was watching!
@ashleetoo: Wow, we could be twins. I am freaking out about fast dancing at my own wedding. I am definately not a dancer either.Slow dancing is fine, but fast is my weakness. I hope you the best!
I am not very shy but was still feeling nervous about the first dance, I was worried it would be soooo awkward with everyone watching, especially since we basically stick to just swaying back and forth, haha. We ended up whispering back and forth to eachother while we were dancing, since we hadn't really had an alone moment to talk since the ceremony and no one could hear us over the music. It took my mind off the people watching and the pics turned out well since we were smiling and laughing a bit at eachother's comments.
@MrsTCB: This is one of my favorite quotes ever. Thanks for posting it!
First of all, you are not strange. You just are who you are. Everyone has things they wish they were better at. I, too, am rather shy. I was surprised how comfortable I was on my wedding day. It was like my head was totally clear, and I wasn't worried about anyone but my husband. Plus, all your guests are there to celebrate. I hate people looking at me in general, but you just have to remember that they are all looking at you with love, excited that they are sharing your wedding.
You know I am the same type as you are. I am planning to dance :)
I have a few suggestions to you:
1. If you absolutely don't want to do it, see if your FI is willing to give it up. My friend hated dancing so no first dance. Instead, they made grand entrance (with bridal party) in the beginning of the reception with some clubbing music and called it good. When it's time to dance they just pulled everyone out to dance.
2. Take some dance lessions if you have time + money. That way you are more comfortable when you do the dance and the teacher should be able to teach you moves that suits you.
3. If money is issue, you can always take a look at youtube vid. My friends used it to learn first dance. Basic moves. No need to be fancy.
4. Once again YouTube vid. There are a few vid where the whole bridal party dance together. If your bridal party like to dance, they can all go out and dance with you guys.
See if any of those above works for you. :)
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so of ALL the things going on with wedding planning etc. the NUMBER ONE thing I am stressing about is the dancing. My fiance really wants a wedding and first dance and all that jazz and honestly so do I. But I am TERRIFIED of people looking at me. I am the type of girl who is so shy that I dont even like going to buffets because I feel like people are looking at me. I have been this way since as far back as I can remember. I sprint through stores like walmart getting what I need and getting out as quickly as possible. In a room with one or two people I am ok but any more and I get really nervous. I know I am strange, but thinking of all those people looking at me while I walk down the aisle and when I do my first dance makes me queasy ( sweating while typing at the moment).
the thing is I WANT to dance all night and be this proud and hot bride with her man by her side...just trying to get to that place *SIGH*