Panicking About Life (LONG)

posted 2 weeks ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
7911 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Do you have to move in with your mom? You said your husband makes good money, why not just find your own place even if you have to rent? Yes, the appeal of buying a house sooner is great but not at the cost of your mental health and happiness.

Has your fiancé sat down with you and gone over the numbers? I get so stressed out about money (especially when we start talking about TTC) and it always helps when my husband sits down with me and we crunch the numbers and have an actual budget.

And don’t worry about the dress. You certainly don’t need to find one in the next few weeks. You could almost get away with buying one after the baby is born (though that would be a little tight on time). 

Post # 5
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

PrincessPeach13 :  Don’t panick. In life, everything doesn’t alwats happen at the perfect time. But, you’ll make it through. And I’m delighted that you’re able to fulfill your dream of having children. Earlier than desired, but still a blessing! Living arrangements, wedding dress, finances – it can all be worked out. And you have a loving soon to be hubby and support system to help you figure it out. Deep breaths! And Congratulations!!

ETA. I think a little anxiety can be normal sometimes. Your hormones are all over the place. It will get better. I’ll give you an example – I’m newly pregnant myself (after MC 2 years ago). My tummy hasn’t been feeling great, as can be expected. Well, I felt wonderful yesterday! And I fell into a bucket of tears because I convinced myself that no morning sickness = something is wrong with the baby. 

Illogical, I know. Just remember to take care of you. And everything else will fall into place.

Post # 6
Member
845 posts
Busy bee

PrincessPeach13 :  I would prioritize having my own home over having a dream wedding if I couldn’t financially manage both.  Having your own space after giving birth is a BIG deal.  I can’t emphasize the anxiety that was caused living with family after my first child vs coming come with my second child to a house we’d built while hoping to get pregnant. 

Is there a way to find an affordable apartment that’s a good fit for your growing family and find some ways to trim the wedding budget?  

Post # 7
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

I have a lot of anxiety on a normal day, so I feel for you in this situation. At the risk of sounding corny, when my anxiety gets a bit out of control, I play a little game with myself called count my blessings. Here’s what I’ve got for you so far:

You are healthy and fertile.

You have a partner who loves you.

You have a family who supports you.

You have wonderful friends who are willing to travel for you.

You are financially in a decent place.

You and the love of your life have created, albeit accidentally, something that is half you and half him. That’s very special.

How much of your bachelor/bachelorette/honeymoon trips are planned and paid for? Could you save a bit of money by postponing them to a later date when the baby has been around for a while and life has stabilized? Then put that money towards getting your own place? As PP has said, you don’t need to buy right away.

Everything’s going to be okay.

Post # 9
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Honestly everything will be ok. It happens more than you think. I know another girl who booked & paid for her wedding & then got accidentally pregnant also. She was 8 months pregnant at her wedding. Live with your Mum for the year, save some money & you can still have your dream wedding. Does this make the the baby due early November? 

it will end up a blessing 🙂 

Post # 10
Member
8009 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle

I mean, everything is actually working out better than you expected, IMO. You thought you couldn’t have kids, now you’re having one. You’re still going to have your wedding. You can still take vacations after the baby comes, especially if you live with your mom and she’s going to be there for you. You have more support than probably 95% of people. I kind of wish my life was this easy…

Post # 13
Member
8009 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle

PrincessPeach13 :  No, I didn’t mean it like that. More like this is going to work out for the best! You can save money, have extra support with a newborn and you’ll have a husband and a little family <3 I like the bee that suggested the “count your blessings” because you really do have a lot. It’s understandable you’re nervous and all of that… just savor all of the alone time you get up until the baby arrives. Hugs.

Post # 14
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

PrincessPeach13 :  I really feel for you and timing is not ideal!! Everything will be ok though.

Do everything you can to still have your wedding as planned. Don’t delay the wedding. 

I seriously would move in with your mum & save everything you can .

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