(Closed) Parent against last name change?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My parents are not against it.  But I am thinking if your parents are against it, you will need to talk to them.  You are an adult now and will be marrying soon. Making a new family and making decisions together.  In my opinion, your parents shouldn’t have a say in your future name.  

Post # 4
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I did not change mine for my first wedding, and it caused a lot of confusion especially when we had a child. At every dr appt with my son, I was asked “And you are his mother?” Like every nurse was confused as to who I was because of my last name. Later I looked into changing my name and it is expensive and complicated when it is post-wedding.

Post # 5
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree, this is your decision…I’ve decided to make my last name my middle name since I didn’t have one…I love my last name, but I’m really excited to be Mrs.Mr.bridegrl!!!

talk to your parents if they are putting pressure on you to keep your name and that is not what you want…

Post # 6
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Is it some kind of cultural thing or only child thing? I know some cultures prefer the girl keep her name and/or the man change his or sometimes the parents, mainly the dad, has a thing with passing on his name and if youre the only child and/or no boys, it could be that.

Whatever the reasoning, they seriously have no right or say in your decision to change your last name. I would talk with them about it but if they still object, it’ll just have to be one of those things that you agree to disagree on and do whatever you feel is right for you. Don’t let them tell you what to do or make you feel bad, it’s your life and your decision!

Post # 7
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Did your Mom change her name when she married your Dad? If so then there you go… tell them you are following in your mother’s footsteps. And even if she didn’t change her name, you shouldn’t have to explain to anyone why you want to have the same name as your husband to be and future children. I really think is selfish for people to be upset because you want to take your husband’s last name.

Post # 8
Member
5389 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My parents aren’t against it, but I think they would’ve liked for me to be called by my maiden name when I walk across the stage for future graduations.

Post # 9
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My mom’s advise was: “Don’t change your name.  It’s the worst mistake you could make, you lose your identity.”  Now, aside from exaggerating, I’m sure she was somewhat joking, but she would definitely prefer I keep my name the same.  FI’s mom was the exact opposite.  Apparently she’s been SUPER worried that I wouldn’t change my name and felt compelled to ask me hurriedly one night at dinner when FI went to the mens room.  I’m actually not 100% sold on changing it.  

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh my mom freaked about me changing my last name. Sobbed and stuff. Dad told her to knock it off basically and stop making me feel guilty cuz i had already decided to change my name =]

But, interestingly enough, my dad sent me a check and he wrote my maiden name on it. He said, “eh, you’ve always been EJS to us”

Post # 11
Member
494 posts
Helper bee

I seriously have never thought about not changing my last name. I would love to keep my last name but I think if you are going to be a family and have kids you should all have the same last name. But honestly, it is a personal choice and its completely up to you and your future husband. If you want to keep you last name then you should but it needs to be your decision not somebody elses.

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