(Closed) Parent Album Woes – Bees of divorced parents

posted 5 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
Hostess
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

My parents are split, and while I would still wonder the same thing, in the end I would put it there. It’s not about who you’re dancing with, it’s about you & your special day. I think they would both want a picture of you enjoying every aspect.

Post # 4
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@terisa2012:  When cutting, I tried to think of what photos the recipient would actually want to see. I figured that my mom probably wouldn’t be very interested in seeing photos of her ex husband, so I cut photos with him and his side of the family.

Post # 6
Member
4897 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yes I would. My dad is my dad. My parents may not be resentful of each other as much anymore, but even if they were, I’m not going to edit the details of my life. Even if they’re divorced, my dad/mom need to be respected as an important part of MY life, even if they’re not in each others anymore. 

Post # 7
Member
5663 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

My parents have been divorced since I was 12, and up until a few years ago got along, and now will not speak. I am making albums for the family geared towards their side. So no father daughter dances in my mom’s, but lots of pics of her and I, her side of the family and her friends, my brother and I, her dancing with my husband etc… I am not making an album for my dad because my step mom did it herself apparently but if I was, I would do the same for him. Include father daughter, not me with my mom, etc… for my OWN I of course want all moments. But I think each parent if they are not close probably prefers their own moments and their special people.

Post # 8
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

As a Mom (and also an Encore Bride – Divorcee – and child of Divorced Parents)… I’d say I can probably bring a lot of perspective to this Question.

As a Mom, that first and foremost I think that I’d be MORE interested in having an Album that tells a story of MY Child’s Wedding Day (special day) more than anything else.  So ya that would INCLUDE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE that can be crammed into it (including pics of the all important Father-Daughter Dance)

As a Divorced Woman… as much as I would not want to go out of my way to see pics of my Ex-Hubby, I also am smart enough to know that a Wedding is a “family event” and even tho my Ex and I aren’t family anymore, OUR DAUGHTER is OURS together.  And she has a special bond with her father.

As an Encore Bride, I am also smart enought to know that when Mr TTRs children do get married some day, that I will be “second fiddle” to his Ex-Wife the Mother of his children.  I’ll still be there, and be an Honoured Guest (as Wife of the FOB / FOG)… BUT in no way, will I ever be even close to the same level as MOB / MOG.  And as an adult I understand that, am ok with it.

Unless someone is totally crazed about their Ex & the Divorce… then I think this would be the “reasonable” response from most Parents / Step-Parents / New Wifey perspective.

That said, listen if someone has a BIG problem with the photo being in the album that is certainly THEIR choice… so just be ok with it if when you see the Album months down the road to find that that particular photo has been removed (BTW at that point it is “on them” and not you… so whatever)

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 9
Member
7794 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ask your mother!!!!

A lot depends on the relationship the divorced parents have. My mother detests my father (he left under very unpleasant circumstances) and I’m sure wouldn’t want photos of my father, so if I was in your situation I wouldn’t. Yet I see that @This Time Round:   has given the opposite answer.

So the only way to know for sure is to ask her.

Post # 10
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I focused on pics involving my Dad and his family for his, my Mom and her family for hers. It’s their books. Although I know my Dad wouldn’t mind a pic of Mom and my dance (groom), just figured not necessary for them to enjoy. She focused on her family for her parents.

It’s personal for each family though. You would know if they get along fine and possibly even expect certain pics. If it were for a bride, I would likely include 1 pic of father daughter regardless.

Post # 11
Member
8164 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Our albums were the same for everyone.

Post # 12
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I wouldn’t even dream of not including it, but my parents have a fan-freaking-tastic divorced relationship.

Post # 13
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

Is it possible to include a picture of the father/daughter dance that includes a picture with the focus on your face, and not his? Maybe that could be a compromise if you think your mom would be resentful looking at the picture (not resentful of you or that you included it, just resentful of any feelings seeing her ex might bring up?)

My parents are divorced, have been since I was 3. And while they have a very cordial/polite relationship when they come into contact with each other, my mom is rather bitter about certain things involving my dad, even to this day. Some of it has nothing to do with the divorce itself, but things that happened while I was growing up. And I know my mom would still like to have that picture. Just not the focus on me AND my dad, just me.

Post # 14
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Our albums were the same for everyone. I considered making a custom double page spread for my mom, my dad, and DH’s parents, but DH said it wasn’t necessary since the point is to commemorate our wedding, and things like getting ready with my parents there at the end and dancing with my father and DH with his mother… these are major moments of the day.

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