- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
My father is attending my wedding as a guest. It’s touchy, because he’d like to be more involved, but I’ve kept him at arms-length as an adult, because he was absent for all of my adolesence (Age 13-22).
What’s weird is the only person in our families who offered us money toward the Wedding was him, but I turned it down, because I knew there were hefty strings attached and I didn’t want him to be able to “buy” himself back into my life. We just decided to do it ourselves the best way we can and on our own terms.
Here are a few of the things I’m concerned about and I’m actually worried that omitting all of them will make it feel a lot less like a wedding and could result in hurt feelings/awkward situations.
1) Invitations: My mom offered to buy my dress and FI’s parents are throwing our Rehearsal Dinner. I’d like to somehow acknowledge them on the invitations, because they are also very supportive in other ways. So, I was planning on saying, “Together with our families…” but does this imply that my father is somehow involved?
2) Rehearsal Dinner: He will not be invited, plain and simple and I don’t even know if he’ll know one is happening.
3) Ceremony Programs: I feel obligated to list him in the Program as my father, or do I omit him completely?because I think omitting him would be cruel. I can’t imagine him reading the program and NOT being upset that he’s not listed as my father, but to be honest, I don’t truly consider him a father – I’m working on even having a “friendship” with him at this point.
4) Receiving Line: Thinking of NOT doing this, because FI and I paid for the wedding and are taking pictures before the ceremony. How do we transition from Ceremony to Cocktail Hour without a Receiving line, when they’re at the same venue… likely a different room (depending on weather)?
5) Bridal Party introduction at Reception: I was hoping we can omit the parents from this and just do the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen. Is this appropriate?
6) Father/Daughter, Mother/Son dances: This is the most difficult for me. I don’t want to rob FI and his mother of this moment, but I can’t dance with him in front of everyone. This is not to say I wouldn’t dance with him at all throughout the night, but I don’t want it to be a highlighted moment. I’m really struggling with what to do here.
Honestly, trying to make this day NOT about his and my relationship, makes this even more about it, because of all the eggshells I’m having to walk over. This really, really sucks.