Post # 1
I need advice!
My fiance and I have just started planning, and we really want to have the recption is his parents backyard. Their house is beautiful, and their yard is beautifully landscaped, has easily accessible power, and would cut down on rental costs. However, my parents have decided that having the reception there would be “an emotional smack in the face” to them (my mother’s words), because his family has more money than mine. They would rather have the reception at my childhood house, which would require a lot of expensive work in order to be able to host a wedding.
How should I deal with this? Should my fiance and I just make a decision, and hope my parents will be ok with in in the end?
Post # 2
lovesail: I can understand that your mother is upset but try explaining her the rational points like space, logistics, cost involved in preparing etc and explain you’re not meaning to be hurtful or rude. You’re just trying to have the nicest wedding you can. Maybe she can assist in other ways?
Post # 3
lovesail: I would tell your parents to suck it up and deal. It’s your wedding, and has nothing do with who has the better stuff. It’s this kind of thing that really irritates me, and why so many people (I believe) start of marriage on a bad note – because weddings become a “who is doing more” thing. Not saying this is the case for you, but you know what I mean. Are your parents paying for the wedding? If they are, I would like to think my parents would have been thrilled to save a few thousand dollars on the cost of a reception venue – that’s money that could be better spent in a different area of the wedding. I guess I’m just sensitve on the issue, because coming from divorced parents who really didn’t get along, motto has become “suck it up and deal”. 😉
DH and I offered our home/backyard to my brother and his wife during the planning process, as they were considering just eloping after seeing the cost of having even a small immediate family wedding. We had even planned to finally landscaping our backyard (at no cost to them) so it would be perfect. In the end they rented someplace, but I would hate to think that her family would have been opposed simply because we had a “nicer” house than they did.
Post # 4
lovesail: Just make it clear to your mom that your chosen location has nothing to do with emotional ties. It’s the visual & financial aspect that attracts you to it- plain and simple. Then be done with it.
Who is footing the bill for your wedding? Sometimes it’s difficult to make all of your own decisions when others are paying for it. I say if you’re paying for it, you choose where to have it, and your parents can deal. Your mom’s opinion and thoughts on your chosen location are very irrational, IMO.
Post # 5
I don’t know who is paying for the wedding yet. This is what my mom said when I asked her and my dad if they would be willing to contribute to the wedding.