- 2 years ago
- Wedding: July 2016
My parents are making my fiance and I crazy. I really need some advice on what to do.
I love my parents, and when we first got engaged, they generously offered to help pay for the wedding. Generally, they like my fiance. I got mono a month ago, and they commented on how good he was to take care of me and how helpful he has been to me and my parents in the past, and how I really couldn’t find anyone better. However, they have been having all these weird episodes (I call them mood swings) related to my fiance and the wedding. Fiance and I went on a weekend trip together, and when I got home last night (I’m living with my parents for a couple of months while my rental is being renovated) they were on a rampage, saying my fiance is a control freak for “making” me go on the trip with him, that I spend more time with him than I do with them, that they are going to “lose” me after we get married, that we are not financially stable (which is untrue, we both work and go to college full-time to get even better jobs after we’re married), that we will get a divorce because apparently any couple who started dating in high school will MOST DEFINITELY get a divorce, and that our marriage will fail because we don’t go to church. Oh, and they crapped on my ring and said my fiance doesn’t really love me because he didn’t get me a diamond. They also said that they just generally don’t like my fiance or his family and that we should just elope because they don’t want to be part of the planning process or present at the wedding.
So I had my fiance cancel a dinner party his parents were giving to meet my parents, and we’ve started making plans for an intimate ceremony with his family and our friends at a destination location. This is what I wanted all along, I was only doing the big wedding and planning a hometown wedding to humor my mom, who wanted to plan it with me. When I told them the new situation, they freaked out about how I don’t want them in my life. Am I crazy here? They’re the ones who said they wanted no part of it!
I’m paranoid to go back for the third or fourth time (this has happened before) and begin planning a hometown wedding again. I’m afraid that when we start paying our vendors, my parents may pull out financially again, leaving fiance and I in a very bad place. We cannot afford a big hometown wedding, whereas we could afford an intimate destination wedding. I don’t think I’m wrong to not want my parents to help plan or pay for the wedding at this point, but fiance is insisting that we should include them and allow them to help with the planning. It’s a huge clusterf*ck, and I am so stressed out that I am really not enjoying being engaged. I feel like the only thing that would make my parents happy is if we end the engagement. I am tired of everything being fine one day and then the next day they act like my fiance is an evil villain, when really he is the sweetest, most longsuffering person imaginable.
If it were up to me, fiance and I would go to the courthouse with our best man and maid of honor this weekend and get the wedding ceremony over with. I am not excited or enthusiastic about my wedding anymore because my family is ruining it for me and making me feel really unsupported.
Did anyone’s parents go nuts during the planning process, and how did you handle it?
- This topic was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by coachhw.