Post # 1
What does etiquette say about parent gifts? My parents have given us as a gift aproximately half the cost of the wedding and my future in laws are hosting the rehersal dinner but have not helped with the actual wedding costs.
We are having parent albums made after the wedding, but does etiquette dictate to give something else? Is it in bad taste to give a gift to honor my parents but not his? Any insight would be great!
Post # 3
good question. It’s not like you can ever repay half the cost of the wedding, so it really is the thought that counts!
I think it might be fine to give an extra gift to your parents, as long as it’s not blatantly in front of his parents. But, the costs of the rehearsal dinner might not be insignificant, so why wouldn’t you give them both something extra?
Post # 4
See, I’m confused about this, too. Thank you for posting this. My mom is deceased and my dad is engaged. My dad contributed a small sum. Do I get him a gift? Both of them? FI’s parents are divorced. His dad contributed to the rehearsal dinner and about 10% of the overall budget after that. Do we get just his dad a gift? His mom, too?
I’m so effing confused.
Post # 5
My parents are paying for half the wedding. His parents are paying for nothing. But we got them all the same thing anyway….though I do plan to take my parents out for an extra nice dinner or weekend at a B&B after the wedding is over to show extra thanks.
Post # 6
We’re keeping it simple, maybe bouquets for the mums, and a bottle of whiskey for my Dad. My Dad made a small contribution towards the wedding, but I wouldn’t feel right giving him a bigger gift than the other parents? I treated the gifts as a “thanks for being part of our day”, rather than “thanks for the money”.
Note – my mum and dad are separated, and his dad isn’t in his life.
Post # 7
I’m glad to see other people are in a similar situation! It’s hard in terms of finances and who gives who and who gets what. My mom has been a large part of the shower/ wedding planning and his mom has been semi involved but not as reliable. Vabride2011 I like your idea of doing something extra for after the wedding. My parents have a trip planned to Mexico for the fall so maybe I will call ahead and arrange a nice dinner or something like that. I think both his and my parents would like having the parent albums or maybe a nice framed family picture. Thanks everyone!
Post # 8
My parents also gifted us money for the wedding, and his paid for the rd and alcohol. Even though my parents gave more money, I felt like his parents were very supportive and helpful in other ways. Even if they weren’t, I think we would have given everybody a gift just to keep the peace in our families.
Post # 9
We got both our parents the same main gift (a nice picture frame with heartfelt notes written by us thanking them). Since my parents paid for the entire wedding (whereas his paid for the rehearsal dinner), we also got my parents a gift card to a restaurant they like. But we gave them that privately. We would’ve loved to give extravagant gifts, but if we had the money to do that, we wouldn’t have needed so much from them in the first place. It seemed silly to use money they gave us to buy them gifts.
Post # 10
were getting all parents something small with a nice note to them.