Post # 1
I’m a little stumped, here.
My mom has been like another bridesmaid in regards to my wedding. She has contributed financially, been immensely helpful in planning and is always there when I/we need her. I, not we, I want to get her something sentimental and personal that I have in mind – it’s not even that expensive. However, am I entitled to then get a gift for my FIL’s? We are not close, they have not been very helpful and that’s all well and good, but I feel awkward gifting one parent and not the others.
Should I leave that up to my FI to get them a “thank you” of some kind? I will talk to him about it, but his answer to everything is, “Why?” i.e. “I want to find something cute and inexpensive for the girls to wear while we get ready” or “I want to have basket of flip flops for women to change into to dance”. LOL…he doesn’t always get it!
Post # 2
BurlapnLace: Welcome to my world! It’s all ‘we don’t need that’, ‘why would you want that?’. Bahaha, men.
As for the gifts I think it is absolutely appropriate for you to get something extra for your mom. I don’t think it would be awkward, unless you give it to her in front of everyone. Maybe just give it to her one-on-one and tell her how happy you are and how much you appreciate your help. I would suggest getting something small for all the parents. Our parents are not helping us plan, but we’re doing small gifts of appreciation for their support on the day.
Post # 3
I’d play it safe and get gifts for both sides. Even if it’s something small, it’s the thought that counts! They don’t, by any means, have to be equal in value. That being saidm you shouldn’t give FIL’s something totally crappy lol Good luck! This is what I’m getting for my FMIL:
Post # 4
BurlapnLace: You are entitled to give a gift to anyone you want.
Is it manadatory to give a gift to the FIL’s? No. But if you are going to play that card, I suggest you present your gift to your Mom privately, not at the rehearsal dinner. Most often the gifts to the parents are presented at the RD along with the gifts to the wedding party.
Be aware that people at the dinner may notice if you do not present a token gift to both sets of parents. This gift is not just for their help in wedding planning, but also in recognition for their support and guidance in raising you.
Post # 5
christin5135: That’s beautiful!! I wish FMIL and I were close enough that I could give her something like that. I really like it!
Post # 6
BurlapnLace: Hi! I am kind of in the same situation- my mom and dad have been very involved ( my mom paid for my entire HUGE shower at a restaurant, ect
I am getting my mom some pearl jewelery ( my intention was her to wear is on the day of, however, it doesn’t match her dress at all haha), I’m writing her a really nice note, will get her a cute vera bradley either makeup bag or lunch tote ( she packers her lunch every day) and a picture with a nice frame. I am also paying for her to get a mani pedi with me the day before
I got my FMIL a bracelet ( also pearl) and will have FI write her a nice note. She hasn’t been very involved at all but I did feel like I should get her something.
Both dads are getting cufflinks ( engraved with initials)
Post # 7
Boxerlover24: The more I think about it, HE should take care of his parents. Whether he wants it to be from us for just from him, I don’t care. But let him do it. He’s not really doing anything else!! I’m just afraid he won’t do ANYTHING, b/c like I said earlier he’s been, “Why do we need that?” to SO MANY THINGS!!!
Post # 8
BurlapnLace: My FI is the same way. If I left it up to him he would have gotten nothing for them lol. It s anice gesture and it took me 3 seconds to pick something nice out. So i just make all the decisions haha If I were you I would just go ahead and get them something- they will appreciate it and its kinda starting out on the right foot 🙂 I know its annoying you FI doesn’t get it but thats why he has you!
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
BurlapnLace: I would give it in private because that would mean a lot more. I am going to get a nice card and put a really nice note in there thanking her for everything she has done. I also plan on getting a pocket compact with her initials engraved on them, plus a handkerchief with the same thing. I am stumped on what to get my dad. Maybe a really nice pen set … I don’t know.
PS FI is really last minute on gifts so tomorrow I’m going to tell him if you don’t choose I am going to order so we get something in time. I was thinking something similar for his mom but a different thread colour for the initials.
Post # 10
Don’t think of it as a gift for helping out with the wedding. Think of it as a gift to them for accepting you into their family. Even if you aren’t close, you are now family. You could leave it up to him as well, but I think it’s more meaningful if it’s from the both of you.
Post # 11
BurlapnLace: I’m in the same type of situation. FI and I plan on getting my parents a laptop as a thank you gift because they have been emotional and financial support during the wedding. They are contributing quite a bit of not just money, but also time and effort. I definitely want to give them something that shows how grateful FI and I are for everything they’ve done for us.
FI’s parents on the other hand… not so much. His mother visibly does not care about the wedding. She is not emotionally or financially invested in it and couldn’t even remember the date the last time it was brought up. FI’s step-dad is even less invested than she is. FI’s dad offered us some money, but has since failed to actually deliver it to us. Regardless, they will each get a little something as a “thank you.”
Post # 12
I’d give both sets of parents some sort of gift from both of you at the rehearsal dinner, just as a token of love and affection as family. I would privately give your mother whatever special thing it is you want to give her from just you.
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2015 - Drury Lane
You could just do a simple engraved picture frame for when they get your wedding photos. Simple, nice, and without emotional attachment
Post # 14
I ordered embroidered handkerchiefs for both moms from this Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/linenwhites?ref=l2-shopheader-name
My mom’s said “Thank you for walking by my side – today and always” (she was walking me down the aisle), and his just had a “Mother of the Groom”, monogram + date. With that we both wrote heartfelt cards (in my fiance’s case heartfelt equals more than one sentence, haha. He’s not very good at the whole putting emotions into words thing), and they both LOVED them.