Post # 1
The thread about invitations got me thinking about my own. I have seen some invitations with just the brides parents… some with both… and some with none. Is it just personal preference? or does in signify who paid for the wedding?
Thanks in advance!
ETA: My dad is paying for almost everything and FI and I are paying for about 10%. Would I just say his name? I feel like it is kind of weird, but I want to honor him in the necessary way.
Post # 3
It depends on how it’s worded. The people who are presented as doing the inviting are usually also the ones who are paying. Our 3 sets of parens are splitting the cost three ways, so we worded it:
Mom and Stepdad
Dad and Stepmom
FFIL and FMIL
request the pleasure etc…
If the couple is paying for the entire wedding themselves, they can leave the parents off entirely, or say “Together with their families/parents, A and B request…”
Post # 4
It usually indicates who is hosting (paying) for the wedding.
Post # 5
Thanks! What if only my dad is paying. Would I just say his name? I feel like it is kinda of weird, but I want to honor him in the necessary way.
Post # 6
It is meant to signify who’s paying for the wedding. Sometimes it’s more honorary though.
Post # 7
I think it is a respectful way to acknowledge that yours/his parents paid for the wedding, or helped. However it is also a personal thing. Mine and FI’s parents are helping us with some parts of the wedding, but we are also in our 30’s and I felt that it seemed a little weird to have our parents names on there. So we worded it “Together with their families, Mr. Boo and Ms. Peach request the honor of your company….. etc”.
Post # 8
It’s ususally who pays for the wedding. There’s a whole section on The Knot, but it’s something like if the brides parents are paying (traditional), that’s when it says something like “Mr. and Mrs. Soandso request the honor of your presence at the wedding of their daughter, Annabelle Soandso, to Joe Schmo.”
If the couple is just paying themselves, they say “Annabelle and Joe request the honor of your presence…”
If everyone is contributing, you usually say something along the lines of “Annabelle and Joe, together with their parents, request the honor of your presence…”
Post # 9
My parents are contributing (well definitely my mom, maybe my dad) but together it’s still going to be less than 1/4 of our budget so I’m just putting our names on there. And we will be 30 and 32 so I feel kind of weird with the whole parents thing on there anyway.
Post # 10
I’m assuming your parents are divorced/separated? That’s harder. If it’s something you feel like you can talk to either one of them about, I’d ask either A) your mom if she would be hurt to be left off the invite, or B) your dad if he would be upset for your mom to also be included, or for it to just say “Together with their parents…”
Post # 11
@mightywombat: Yeah, they are divorced. I wish I didn’t find asking my parents about these things awkward. Thank you for the advice, I will probably suck it up and talk to them.
Post # 12
@amyisnice: I totally understand about the awkwardness! I *hate* dealing with issues like this. I hope it’s easier than you fear!
Post # 13
We went with…
Together with their parents,
blah blah blah…
My parents are paying for our ceremony/reception, FI’s parents are paying for the flowers and RD and we’re paying for everything else. We wanted to acknowledge everyone on the invites since we’re all paying for it. Even if either set of parents didn’t contribute financially I think I still would have worded it the same. They’re our parents regardless of how much they fork over for our wedding and I feel that they should be respected enough to “host” the event.
Post # 14
@UpstateCait: I agree and think I would prefer to do it with both sets of names. I just didn’t know if that would be disrespectful to my dad since he is going to pay for pretty much everything.
Post # 15
My parents are divorced. We are paying for most. But, we still wanted to acknowledge them.
request the honour….
Post # 16
We paid for most things, my parents paid for some things, and his parents gave us an outrageous cash gift that could have been called paying for whatever part of it.
But that aside, if we left our parents out, they’d be hurt. And we’re children coming of age and getting married off by our parents either, so having just them do the inviting would seem weird too.
along with our parents