(Closed) parent wants to move in….

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Yikes, this is tough because they would be newlyweds and trying for a family.

I’m in the mindset that if the dad had nowhere else to go, I would take him in out of guilt. It would be a huge sacrifice, but it would be worth it if he was happy. My husband and I agree that if either of our parents ever became too sick to live on their own, and they were manageable and didn’t need 24/7 care, we would take them in.

But then again, I wonder if I would feel the same if we were in your friend’s shoes. I really don’t know!

Post # 4
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Where does her dad live?  It sort of sounds like he might need someone to be with him like a nurse or something.  I don’t think that they would be able to do that for him with their own jobs going on.

Post # 6
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Honestly, when it comes to ill health I think she should help him make appropriate arrangements, even if that means letting Dad stay for a little bit until an alternative comes about. Yes it wil be stressful and stuff, but if they wouldn’t you hope if you were in that same situation your parents would take you in atleast until other arrangements can be made?

Post # 7
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think she is right. It would be too stressful. He has his own place and should stay there. She can make sure she visits on the weekends. I think she should look into some type of home care for him and maybe meals on wheels or something similar. He is probably having a hard time adjusting to having to do everything himself, now that the girlfriend is not there.

Post # 8
Member
1775 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

If she takes him in when she doesn’t want to, she will most likely resent him, and that is bad for their relationship as well.  We don’t know what his actual needs are and whether he can live alone.  If she wants to take him in and FI is supportive, that’s great.  But if she wants to be supportive in other ways, that’s fine too.  Personally, I wouldn’t- her father sounds selfish and I wouldn’t make that big a sacrifice (could be 20 years for all we know) for someone that selfish.

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