- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
I am up at my parents for a few days w/o my boyfriend and as usual, my mom takes advantage of the fact that he is not around to pump me for information. At dinner, my mom mentions that she’s not sure if they’ll get their retirement check from Uncle Sam if they don’t pass the appropriations bill (dad is retired military). I know they have their financial ducks in order and this won’t present a problem for them, just a minor hassle. But mom tags on that it’s hard because she’s trying to save for a wedding. She then wonders aloud whether she should be saving for it? Long pause as she looks at me. My dad tells her to leave me alone. (Ahh, how I love my dad! The *only* person in my immediate family to *never* make any wedding-related comment, including those by my brother/SIL of the “well at least we don’t bug you about it” variety.) She follows up by asking if it’s me that doesn’t believe in marriage or my bf? What happened to option C of: Neither, we’re just not there yet? We’ll have been dating 3 years at the end of May, so this not completely unreasonable that we aren’t yet engaged, though I am in early thirties, bf a few years older. Anyhow, I don’t want to throw bf under a bus by saying he’s the holdup, so I simply point out that maybe the way to think about it is that my siblings got engaged early at the one year mark in their relationships. At some point in the conversation, she notes that she wasn’t sure if the family vacation we’re planning next year to celebrate their 40th will conflict/interfere with wedding plans. (Something I’ve thought about, whether if it happened next summer it’d be too many vacations in too short amount of time, but wasn’t about to admit that to her.)
Ironically, she got very upset last year at my brother-in-law when he made wedding comments/asked questions at a holiday family gathering of our immediate family+a family who are a bit more extended relatives but live nearby. She emailed an apology after and concluded saying, “No one has any right to pressure you in any way about your relationship.”
So, what are your family query stories? Mine is fairly constant now, almost every time I see family they somehow mention it.