(Closed) Parental/Grandparental Opinions- How to manage?

posted 5 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
Member
1437 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I haven’t been in your situation but I’m sorry this is happening to you during what should be an extremely happy time, it sounds really tough! I think if you want to elope you should go for it, if you want a more formal wedding, then I think you should. It’s not their decision and it’s not their right to make these choices for you. Hopefully they’ll be able to grow up and act like (Christlike) adults, but if not adults are asked to leave their sparents and cleave to their spouse. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
4664 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yes. You plan the wedding you want, where ou want, when you want. You invite them, and then the ball is in their court. Chances are that when you give them the ultimatum, “accept this or don’t come to my wedding/be in my life” they’ll choose the former. If they don’t, it’s their loss, not yours, since anyone who would drop you over something like that is toxic anyway. 

Post # 5
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

as someone who very recently went through this, the best thing is that you’re living away from home. This way, when someone communicates with you, you can end the conversation when it is getting too heated. Make an excuse, say you’re going to class, tell them you’re getting an important work-related call, whatever. Just hang up and continue the conversation on your own terms. When my parents reacted negatively to my engagement, I told them I would call them back, and waited 24 hours. I formulated my reaction, which was: your response hurt me. And then I tried my best not to defend the most wonderful man I’ve ever met, who shares my beliefs on every part of everything, except that my views come from faith and his from deduction. don’t fight with them, it won’t change anything. Just be the adult and show them you’re determined. PP is right, 90% of the time, they would rather swallow their idiocy than not attend the wedding. (And I do plan to have someone run interference if they start acting stupid. )

good luck!! Worrying is the worst part. 

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