Post # 1
My parents’ 40th wedding anniversary is coming up in a few days. I’m feeling awful because I have no plan to help them celebrate. They live a few hours away and I have 2 brothers who still live at home (one is disabled and one is college-aged). They are already celebrating by going on an Alaskan cruise together later this month. Also, I am 32 weeks pregnant with their first grandchild (after 3 years of infertility) and my mom is throwing me a shower a week after their anniversary. I originally wanted to throw them a party but most of our family is out of state and we just saw them at a family reunion last month so I know they wouldn’t make the trip. My parents have a few friends in the area but not a ton. When I brought up the idea of a party they kind of shut it down anyway and said they were content with their trip and saw their new grandchild as their anniversary present. They are overjoyed at becoming grandparents.
I was actually very relieved because the thought of trying to plan a big event while pregnant was very overwhelming! However, as the day approaches I’m feeling worse and worse! 40 years is a big deal!! And they have been so kind helping us with baby things and I feel like all of the focus has been on me recently. They deserve to be recognized.
I need some ideas of something I can still do for them that is thoughtful and can be done on a budget and in a small amount of time. Everything I think of doesn’t seem good enough or significant enough. 🙁
Post # 2
Give them a call on the day and wish them a happy anniversary and tell them how happy you are to be their daughter 🙂
Anniversaries are special events for the people in the relationship. You aren’t in the relationship, and are not obligated to celebrate it for them! My parents have five children, and every year they celebrate their anniversary with just the two of them– it is THEIR special day after all.
Post # 3
I’m guessing your parents were telling the truth when they said becoming a grandparent is their present! If you feel that bad why not send them flowers and an e-card to a nice restaurant? Or if you are feeling a bit more creative you can arrange a family photo shoot when they are in town, and gift them a quality portrait of them and their new grandbaby.
Post # 4
40 years is a ‘ruby’ wedding anniversary – why don’t you find a jewelled picture frame and put an appropriate poem in it (or write one yourself?) – that could be mailed, too.
FWIW, I do think this is a non-issue and your hormones are getting the better of you. I think your parents said it all with the grandchild comment – they sound very sweet indeed 🙂
Post # 5
Oh my gosh this is so funny. This weekend is my grandparents’ 50th anniversary and they said no to a party, a nice family dinner, every idea we could think of!! They decided instead to go to a nice hotel on a nearby lake, just the two of them, and make reservations at a nice restaurant. We are calling the restaurant to let them know it’s their anniversary and to pay for their dinner and get wine/flowers delivered. Maybe this is a possibility for you? If you could find them a nice room somewhere nearby it scenic and pay for it, that’d be cool too.
Other ideas you can do from afar: tickets to do something fun even if it isn’t this weekend (like a performer they like coming to their area soon?); purchase a date night for them – like a dinner out somewhere they wouldn’t normally take themselves or a cooking class, a paint and wine night, or an escape room?
Post # 6
- Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion
hollyberry4 : Aw, sorry you are feeling bad! I would take them at their word that they are excited about going on a trip and excited about becoming grandparents. Some people are not big-party people. My parents had their 40th anniversary two summers ago and I honestly don’t remember what my brother and I did, so it must not have been much! OK I just looked through my old emails. My brother and I made them a card with a picture from their wedding and gave them money toward a nice dinner out for their anniversary get-away. Sounds like your parents are low-key and low maintenance so I don’t think you have to do anything big! 🙂
Post # 7
Is there something you can do for them on the cruise? I would call the cruise line or the hotel they’re staying at before hand and arrange for champagne and strawberries or something a little special like that.
I would call or send them a card for their anniversary and maybe a gift card to their favourite restaurant if you want to do something.
Post # 8
I would send a card- maybe a gift card to a resturant, and just call them on the day. It doesn’t sound like they wanted a big party or anything anyway!!
Post # 9
Give them a gift card for a favourite restaurant or call up the place and make a card payment and let them know their night out is all paid for on whatever night they want to book.
Post # 10
Aww bee. You sound sweet. Yes I think maybe paying for an excursion for them on their trip would be nice. Or maybe surprising them with a cake at the baby shower towards the end as a surprise? But I’m sure having a grandchild will be the best gift of all.
My parents are also celebrating their 40th next year and I’m already feeling pressure to do something since Im the “planner” of the family. I know how you feel!
Post # 11
hollyberry4 : I second a nice photo frame (maybe insert their wedding photo into it) and a gift card to a nice restaurant where they can celebrate on their own.
Post # 12
Thank you bees for the suggestions! I love them. I think we will do maybe flowers, a letter, and maybe a really nice bottle of wine they could take on the cruise. I’ll look into the excursion idea too! You guys made me feel a lot better!
Post # 13
hollyberry4 : All cruise lines have regulations about what alcohol can brought on board. If you know the ship they are cruising, you can look up the rules online. Otherwise, phone the line and ask for help arranging a special dinner or wine.
Post # 14
As someone who just recently celbrated their 20 year anniversary, I can tell you that this is not an occasion I expect my children (or anyone else) to celebrate. It is touching that you want to do something special for them, and I agree that either arranging a special dinner on their cruise or even sending them flowers, a bottle of wine and a GC to a nice restaurant at home would be a really generous thing to do. But an anniversary really is for the two people involved to celebrate. And I agree that a grandchild (while my kids aren’t even close to that milestone yet) is the best gift for most parents.
Post # 15
Please don’t feel guilty. I have two grandchildren under a year old each, and another expected. Much more of a party than one with just grown ups!