Post # 1
Hi hive! I’m planning a surprise party for my parents 25th wedding anniversary next month and I’m wondering if I should invite my uncle’s ex-wife. They had an unpleasant breakup, but she is still close to my parents and I see her regularly, because she and I now live in the same city. My parents would love to see her, but is this bad etiquette with respect to my uncle who would also be in attendance? Thanks in advance for any thoughts on this!
Post # 3
i would not invite her if she and her ex-husband aren’t friendly. i would probably explain it to her though.
Post # 4
I would think that ultimately it’s your parents “guestlist”. the people that are close to them that should be invited… even if there are issues between other guests.
I would just seat them maybe on opposite sides of the room. lol
Post # 5
I’m not sure about the ettiquette thing but I would invite her. It’s unfortunate that they had a bad divorce but it’s your parents’ party and if they’re still close with her, she should be invited. I think for one night, they can behave themselves or keep their feelings kept aside for the sake of your parents. Your ex-aunt would be hurt if she was excluded and it just wouldn’t be right. Just don’t sit them at the same table lol. Have they attended other family functions post divorce? I know this is a sticky situation, I’m sorry. How do you feel about it having her come?
Post # 6
I agree with the others that since it’s your parents party and they’re friends with her, then you should invite her. However, maybe you should mention it to your uncle and see his reaction, so he’s not completely blown out of the water if he isn’t expecting her there.
My mom is the same way with my ex-brother-in-law. He and my sister have two daughters together and my mom still invites to him Christmas and other holidays. My sister has moved on with her life and they’re now friendly so she doesn’t care. Sometimes people are just able to get over stuff like that.
Post # 7
Thanks for your opinions! Now that I know not everyone would think of it as a faux pas, I think I will invite her, but let them both know the situation. My uncle has moved on and most likely will be attending with his new girlfriend, whom my aunt (I still consider her my aunt!) has met at other family functions without incident. They were married for 20+ years and have two grown children, so I think it’s inevitable in some ways that they will run into each other at family gatherings. My aunt is a wonderful person and I think both she and my parents would enjoy her attendance, but if she chooses not to attend, then obviously that would be understandable. Thank you again!
Post # 8
We had a similar situation, also a surprise anniversary party for the in laws! 🙂
His one uncle and his exwife divorced years ago, not sure how the divorce was? But the exwife has always been part of family events, she’s really quite nice and has kept the family name (which I think is kinda odd). But their cordial and all. So we definitely invited her! They may be divorced but she’s still family which it sounds like your (ex)aunt is so I def would invite her!
Have fun! All the hard work will pay off when you see the surprise on their faces! =)
Post # 9
How many people will be in attendance? Is it large enough that they can be kept far enough apart but still both interact with your parents? If they will create tension in the room, I would say no, though, because the highlight is supposed to be the joy a marriage can bring, not a terrible outcome of a split!