Post # 1
SO and me are having some trouble deciding if he should ask my parent’s blessing before popping the question. I read somewhere that the whole ‘blessing’ thing is more American, so I was wondering, UK bees, did you/your SO ask your parent’s blessing before getting engaged? If so, how did they react?
Post # 3
@TopazTurtle: We didn’t ask permission. I personally don’t like it as a tradition. It feels very old-fashioned, before women had rights. I feel like I’m my own person and therefore the only person who needs to be asked is me. I also don’t agree with being given away for the same reason. I’m not a possession to be given away so I’ll walk myself. I am, however, close to my Dad but he understands my reasoning and is happy with it. Hope this is helpful.
Post # 4
My fiance is very traditional so yes he did ask for my parents’ blessing before asking me. He didn’t tell me that he’d done it until after the proposal but I didn’t have a problem with it. My parents are also very old-fashioned and from a different culture where that would be expected so in our case, my fiance did the right thing tbh.
Post # 5
My fiance took my Dad to then pub, sat him down, expalined how much he loved me and and asked for his permission to marry me.
I knew nothing about it until after I had tried to suprise my folks with the news (it was a suprise to me to be asked) and they were not so suprised at all!
Ive always been anti asking for all the reasons cuddle addict mentioned.
But I think Dad really apreciated it and it gave the two best me in my life a chance to have an honest chat…..and as it was a huge suprise to me it proved to Dad that fiance thought up the idea all by himself and didnt get badgered into it!
……I also told my fiance he missed a trick. He should have seen what he could get out of Dad by way of a dowry!
Post # 6
My FI asked my dad for my hand. it was his choice, he didnt have to i dont think my dad wud have minded either way.
Post # 7
I think it depends. I asked FI not to ask my dad beforehand, but that was more because I really wanted to be there myself when we told my dad. My dad has a terrible habit of saying the wrong thing and I knew that if FI had already asked him he would say “oh, we already knew” when we announced our engagement. But feminism did play a part in that decision as well. I don’t regret it one bit – I will never forget seeing the smile spread across my dad’s face when we told him. Plus my parents had known FI for over 8 years anyway so it’s not like they had much to ask him about his prospects, lol!
But my friend’s sister’s husband asked her dad before proposing and I know he appreciated it. He is fairly traditional.
So I think it depends on your own family dynamic. 🙂
Post # 8
my husband asked my dad as well. He didn’t have to but it is a nice touch I think to give the father of the bride his place and show some respect. It’s actually a long standing UK tradition going back to arranged marriages where there would be negociations for the brides hand.
My husband just took my dad for a pint and asked him how he’d feel about us getting married. He then asked for his blessing which my dad readily gave, i think he was secretly pleased that my husband had thought of him 🙂