Post # 1
My parents will probably choose not to attend my wedding. This is something my mom told me the last time we spoke and I told her my boyfriend and I were planning marriage. ”We probably won’t come, but I can’t say for sure right now, it’s still a year away so maybe we’ll change our mind.” That was 4 months ago and we haven’t spoken since.
My parents raised me in a very devout religion, I chose to leave in my 20’s and when I started dating SO, they blamed him, despite the fact that I had been quite unhappy for years in the religion and they knew this. Add to the fact that SO had children from previous relationships, BOOM, automatic shunning, they refuse to even meet him. ”Why would we meet him, we know everything there is to know about him already” is my mother’s answer to my invitation to get to know him.
ANYWAYS, I’ve accepted the fact that they are close-minded and judgemental and they probably will choose not to attend my wedding. I know from reading these boards other Bees have been in the same position. My question is – did it affect your day at all or your mood personally on the day?
Post # 3
@LeBonbon: my mom was SO against me marrying. She used to hung up on me and stuff. I was this close to having aw edding with out her. But, thankfully, we could talk and things got much better, she gave me this for christmas.
I know it seems impossible now. Believe me, I thought it was. But love conquers it all I guess. Even though people are stubborn.
My advice is for you to keep doing your part, invite her, try to make her a part of this. At the end of the day it will be her choice. I know it hurts and it would be so much easier to just run the other way and forget about everything. But when you gotta fight, you gotta fight.
hugs for you :))))
Post # 4
2 days before our wedding a man in his late 30s decided to act like a 16 year old and and started telling my father in law rumours and lies about our relationship. A big one he said was that DH had recently slept with his best man (a girl, who has actually been my friend since we were 6). Because of this my mother in law threatened to not come to our wedding if this friend of ours was there. We were stubborn and refused to uninvite our friend. In the end MIL did come, but it still cast a huge shadow over the day.
I don’t really know what advice to give you, but I honestly hope that your parents change their minds and come.
Post # 5
@AnaA: Thank-you, that is actually really helpful. You’re right, I guess I need to find a balance between hoping they come and still putting in the effort, but emotionally accepting in advance they may not. It was very bizarre going dress shopping without a mother.
I send out my STD in a couple of weeks, I guess I will get a clearer picture then.
Post # 6
@Tigerlilybride: Me too, thank-you. In the end I feel like they would be the ones to miss out the most by not attending their daughters wedding.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
@AnaA: I think this is excellent advice.
Post # 8
@LeBonbon: They definitely would be. You will be surrounded by loving, happy friends and family no matter what!
Post # 9
My father and I haven’t had a good relationship my whole life. Ever since I was little, I’ve always dreamed of the perfect wedding. It was perfect in my mind, only cos he wasn’t there. Flash forward to today. My father and I aren’t speaking, and he didn’t attend my wedding. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.