Parents didnt attend our wedding. Is it ok?

posted 1 week ago in Weddingbee
Post # 2
Member
2643 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

That’s a very personal question and will be different for everyone. For my husband and I, it wouldn’t have been ok because we are both very close with our parents. Had your fiance’s parents already booked their vacation before you set the date, or did they do it after you set the date? 

Post # 3
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

It’s really how YOU feel, not what others feel. I think the general population would want their parents there, but it really is your wedding and if its okay with you. 

Post # 4
Member
2245 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

No one can answer that question but you.  Some people have very strained relationships with their families and would rather have a private ceremony.  Others may have a fine relationship and still not want them there.

Me personally, I wouldn’t dream of getting married without my or my husband’s parents there.

Post # 5
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

the question is, are you ok with it?  if yes, then there is no issue.

Post # 6
Member
7998 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Yulee :  I think your title is misleading. It makes it sound like the question is ” is it ok for parents to skip their child’s wedding”. But I think, and correct me if I am wrong, that what you are really asking is “is it ok to get married when the date/time doesn’t work for the parents and it means they can’t attend”.

Honestly I would never plan a wedding on a date when my/his parents couldn’t attend but someone with a strained family relationship might. And there are always going to be hundreds of very valid reasons why a parent may not be able to attend (health/distance/visas/finances/work) and then it is up to the bride and groom to evaluate whether they are willing to find a way for everyone to be included. Sometimes the answer is easy but other times the answer is hard because there is nothing you can concievable do (like with visas) as it is out of your hands.

So you both need to think long and hard about what it means to you individually to have (or not have) your parents at your wedding. When you have that answer then you can start working on what to do.

Post # 7
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

If my parents were not at my wedding, it would be because we had no relationship at all. If it’s just a timing issue or too hard to organise travel, that would seem to me to be a cop out of not attending the wedding of your child, and to me personally would be unacceptable.

Post # 8
Member
7674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If you have a good relationship with both sets of parents, I would try my best to accommodate their availability to attend your wedding. That said, sometimes you try your best, and they’re still unable to attend. That’s ok too. 

Post # 9
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Can you not just change the date so your boyfriend’s parents aren’t on holiday and your parents have time to book flights? What are the documents that take time, do they need to apply for passports…?

Post # 10
Member
4165 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 1997

I guess that all depends on how you and your BF feel about your parents not attending. The bigger question is why not schedule the wedding so that your parents can get their passports in order and your DH’s parents aren’t on holiday? 

Post # 11
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Well it wouldn’t be okay for me. But that doesn’t mean it’s not okay for you. Only you can answer this. But if you love them and they are important, you should make every effort to have them there. 

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