(Closed) Parents Don’t speak english-bf asking for hand in marriage?

posted 6 years ago in Intercultural
  • poll: Did your fiance ask your parents for your hand in marriage-non english speaking parents
    yes : (2 votes)
    40 %
    no : (2 votes)
    40 %
    I was there to translate : (1 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I haven’t been in your situation, but…

    1) Do you have a friend that he could recruit to translate for him?  That way you don’t have to be there, and he might be able to converse more freely?

    2) what if he got a tutor for this specific purpose?  Like, a few sessions a month to basically learn the following:

    “I’d like to sit down and speak with you about ak04gal’s and my relationship.  I’ve been working with a tutor to learn some phrases specific to this conversation, and may not understand everything you have to say.  I love your daughter very much and would like to ask your permission for her hand in marriage.”


    I found that in my foreign language studies, my comprehension far exceeded my ability to speak, so maybe he’d be able to pick up on what they said…

    Post # 4
    831 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Are your parents expecting to be asked? Like is it a cultural expectation thing? If so I think you need to have someone or yourself translate. I would think he would need to know more than a few phrases in order to do this, and apparently that hasn’t worked previously. Also, how would he know what their response is if he doesn’t understand them? I’m sure their reaction will be happy and he’ll know it’s positive but still I’m trying to figure out how this will go down with such a communication issue.

    Post # 5
    4887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Could he write it in a letter in Chinese Cantonese, and hand it to them personally?

    Post # 6
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Do you have a friend or brother who could translate for him?

    Post # 7
    48 posts
    • Wedding: June 2013

    OK, now a) I was the one who proposed and b) I would’ve been really offended if my OH had asked my parents for their blessing or permission BUT there is definitely a language barrier there (I’m German and while my mom isn’t too bd my dad doesn’t have much English) and if my OH had asked I think he would’ve tried going for some tutoring sessions and learning the phrases necessary to have the “talk”. Do you have friends that speak Chinese that your partner could turn to or someone in your community who could help?

    I know my OH is swatting like mad now because we’re getting married in Germany and I don’t really want a translator at my wedding for the vows & signing of the contract.

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