Post # 1
I have MANY problems woth my wedding planning… all of them due to my very conservative and VERY cultural parents.
I got a tattoo on my back which was a HUGE shock to my mother. She cried a bit and I had to talk to her about it and calm her down (btw I am 27, but in my culture tattoos a a BIG no no and gives the impression that the girl is not innocent and a sort of a loose canon which I AM NOT! Im just not into the cultural stuff, and dont understand most of the traditions that I grew up with)
Then me and my SO wanted to get married in July with a small wedding, but my parents (probably mostly my mother) wanted to have a big wedding, and invite ALL of her relatives that were not important to me. They wanted to share costs with us so we can have this wedding, because I cannot afford a big wedding (plus dont really want one) but after many arguments I am being forced to ahve to accept their money and have the big wedding. PLUS had a HUGE blow out (with us not talking to each other for a few days, and lots of tears and screaming matches at each other, I had to postpone the wedding to December instead because my mother wanted more time to organise the wedding. Me and my SO have been in a LDR and just want to be able to be in the same place soon! but Im ok that the wedding is in Dec.
Since I got sick of it all, I was prepared just to let my mother have her own way with the wedding, I was advised by my father not to do this, and put some effort to make sure my mother doesnt get upset. So i have put in effort in discussing things, with little arguments along the way and just saying yes to most of what she wants.
Just had ANOTHER blow out about my shoulder blade tattoo (which tells a story of my childhood, not just a random tattoo), saying I cannot wear my wedding saree with the tattoo “on display”. mostly because no cultural bride would never and has never had a tattoo on, and people would say things about it. Anyway after a fight and finally giving in (again) to my mother i agreed to wear whatever the f*** she wants me to (which gave wayto another argument that im being very difficult to please). I think im ranting on about this mostly to vent about my situation! I honestly dont know how to handle my parents, and have never been great at standing up to them because they have given me everything they can as I grew up.
Ok… so now that Ive vented… my real question is does ANYONE know of a good tattoo cover up make up/method that I could use for my wedding? So i can just get m parents to shut up and leave me alone about my tattoo???
Thank you for reading through this!! Im seriously thinking eloping would be better!!!
Post # 3
I would just elope. Let her throw a party and invite everyone ever (on her dime) then make an appearance, but don’t let her have so much power over you.
Post # 4
I don’t know of any, but it sounds like this is turning into your mom’s wedding and from reading other postings this may turn into a serious regret later. Planning your wedding won’t always be fun and easy, but it should not turn into full-fledged blowouts either. I have a prominent tattoo on my shoulderblade, which has meaning to me regarding my nieces, and considered covering it up. When I mentioned it to my FI (who has none, I don’t think ANYONE in his family does) he said, “Why, that’s a part of you”. All of BMs got quite upset as well that I would consider it.
@GoldfishPie: Great advice. It seems you’re not happy. Go elope with the two of you and have your bash with all the trimmings your mom wants after and let her pay for it. If you don’t think you will stand up to them—don’t tell them you did it. At least it will ease your mind knowing it is done and you are at peace. I hate to hear you’re going through a lot of stress/headache for a wedding that you’re not even (seemingly) going to enjoy.
Post # 5
Dermablend works well. Sorry your mom is being so crazy. I get sad when I read stories like this. This should be a happy and fun time for you and your family, not a series of screaming matches!
Post # 6
Don’t worry, you can definitely cover them. CoverFX is wonderful. My FI has two full sleeves and a few on the sides of his neck but needs to cover them up for work. His are very dark and he is very pale but CoverFX hiss them perfectly! Sephora carries it. There is also a product ,add by Kat Von D I believe that Sephora carries. We haven’t tried it but I’m sure if you go into sephora you can sample the products to see what will be best for you.
Post # 7
Thank you everyone!!! I will try those products and see which is best.
@Mathis – My FI was furious that my paents are asking me to cover it up. He was the proudest when i got the tatt because he knows how much courage it took to get it done knowing how my parents would react. But im just too cowardly/ tired to stand up to them and have fights about this.
I have come to terms that this is my mother having her wedding. My Fi is not happy that im not fighting back as well. but all my life, I havnt been able to because my mother has been sickly most of my adult life, and every fight ends up with this getting worse, and my feeling guilty about making things worse. Because of my parents beliefs, I have had to fight for all the independent things I have done on my own (tattoo, moving out and having my own place, dating my (then BF) FI, letting him visit me with no adult supervision (even when I was 27), visiting him was OUT of the question) So I just give in to keep peace. Even eloping is out, because if I did, emotional blackmail will commence.
Ive just told myself, that finally being able to be with my FI is more important to me than anything and have insisted on getting a good photographer to capture my (her) day. other than that Ive given up, and the wedding is in 17 months! 🙂
Thank you SO MUCH for your advice bees!! and Thank you for ALL the recommendations into Tattoo coverup makeups!! 🙂 I really appreciate it!!
Post # 8
Just a quick update… yep we are now NOT talking about the wedding anymore… at least for a few weeks. I instigated this, and feel that if I refuse to talk about it, because nothing I say is being heard, she will be forced to listen.
Im trying the indirect approach while I figure out what I need to do!! I have let them know that I am frustrated about the planning, and even cried because of the sterss, but its still ead me back to this. So i have to see.
I ordered the the dermablend make up from amazon (live in Aus) so will elt u know how it works out when I get it!!!
wish me luck!!
Post # 9
CoverFX is amazing its made and used on extremely severe burn victims (I do believe developed in a major hospital in Toronto) and if youve ever seen Kat Van Ds picture of herself with her product on it covered all of her tattoos which is a lot of work Im sure. I dont have any advice of things with your mom but I hope it works out. My grandmother bit her lip my entire wedding day because I have a full back which was very very visible and even framed with my dress. I thought of covering up but with FIs support we decide to just tell my grandma about the tattoo and knew she was to polite to say anything on the big day.
Post # 10
@naturalysam: Thank you! I will get that too! Im going through all the make up recommended to find which is better! My Fi wants me to show the tattoo off 🙂 but the fighting and shouting that will proceed because of this is too much for me to handle! 🙁 my mother can get very dramatic, and does not stop complaining (and i mean she REALLY doesnt stop), and IF she does, she will take it out on other aspects of the planning. So its not worth it.
Im the first and only niece on her side of the family to move out of parents home before marriage, have partner visit without adult supervision, get tattoo, move overseas etc… so I think she is afraid of how otherw will view her for having a “rebellious” daughter 🙂
Thank you for the tip about Cover FX! that will be what I order next!! Need to make sure that rub off is minimal too!! 🙂
Post # 11
If I was in your shoes, I would elope and tell NO ONE, so that you and your FI have a wonderful day that is EXACTLY like you want. Then do whatever your mother wants 🙂