Post # 1
FI’s and my parents are meeting for the first time over lunch. FI’s parents will be flying internationally to attend the wedding in my hometown. FI’s parents have not, to my knowledge, helped with the wedding financially and will not be hosting a rehearsal dinner in my and FI’s honor (instead, FI and I will pay for our rehearsal dinner).
Because my parents have contributed to our wedding, finances are rather tight for them (as for myself and FI!). I am not completely sure where FI’s parents are financially.
Under these circumstances, does anyone have suggestions as to how the cost of the lunch meeting/introduction should be split? It will most likely be a casual lunch at a low-key spot. Should each person pay for themselves or might FI’s parents expect my parents to pay for their meals?
(I am going to talk to FI about this . . . . I’m just interested in objective opinions as well.)
Post # 3
I would suggest that you and FI pay for the meal.
Post # 4
@Miss Mochaccino: Remove both parents’ set of circumstances and the stress from the event by paying yourself. I know that kind of sucks, but that way no one feels put out.
If someone else offers to pay, decline gently, and if they insist, let them do it.
Post # 5
I think, given the international circumstances (which mean there are probably cultural differences) this is definitely a question for FI and probably only FI. Anything we Bees can tell you will reflect our own cultural contexts and not whatever the context is here.
Post # 6
Who arranged this lunch? The host(s) should pay.
Post # 7
you and your FI should pay. Or whomever invited.
Post # 8
I would go prepared to pay for the whole meal, if you can. I know my dad would insist on picking up the tab, just because that’s how is, but I would be ready.
Post # 9
Why not have you pay for FI and yourself, and let both sets of parents pay for themselves…
“Go dutch” if you will
Post # 10
I think whoever hosts the event, or whoever invited the parties to lunch, should be paying.
Post # 11
@KCKnd2: +1 on this!
If it were me, I would be prepared to pay for everyone, but I could easily see both sets of parents insisit on paying, so we would all end up buying our own.
Post # 12
This is just me…But I’d entertain at home under the circumstances. It’s more inviting (and probably cheaper…).
Post # 13
I would think each couple (set of parents) would pay for their own meals – I think it would be really weird to think otherwise…
Post # 14
Here’s how it usually goes for me:
guest 1: I’ll pay!
guest 2: no let me pay!
guest 3: No I insist!
If no one puts forth this usual conversation, then politely and quietly tell the server that there are 3 parties and that all the couples would like to pay separately.
It sounds like you chose a place that is affordable, that’s great. Don’t get anything extravagant (alcoholic beverages, lots of apps, dessert) just order what you can afford.
Post # 15
You should pay. We went to dinner with my parents and FI’s parents and FI grabbed the bill before either set of parents could. Just because your parents are paying for the wedding that doesn’t mean FI’s parents have to pay for lunch.
Post # 16
when my parents met his, we paid 🙂