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this is going to be the world's longest week because...

parents meeting the parents

posted 2 years ago in Family
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    1.
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    Helper bee
    princess poolau    October 11, 2010  

    okay so this might be a bit weird (or maybe not!) but my parents have not yet met his parents. i brought this up with FI tonight and suggested that our parents meet each other exactly one year before our wedding date. he doesn't seem keen about this as he doesn't think our parents will have much to say to each other (very very likely). of course they'll be really nice to one another, but they're just really different people. i mean, i don't expect much from the meeting, i just want my parents and his parents to have a name to face. and i imagine that introducing our parents to each other on our wedding day for the first time would be a bit weird....

    so what do you ladies think? is it important for the parents to meet before the wedding, during the planning stages? would it be weird/awkward if the parents just met on the day of the wedding? when did you introduce your parents to his? 

     
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    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    won't you have a rehersal dinner? That would be a better time than at the wedding. Our parents have not met and probably won't until wedding week... they live in 3 separate states and I just don't think they'll be buddies anyways :)

     
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    Honey bee
    OttawaBride2011    May 21, 2011   Ottawa, Ontario

    i think it's personal preference. do either your parents or his parents think it's important? FI's mom suggested they meet and my parents were just like, ok sure. no biggie. but my parents don't think it's all that important to meet until the rehearsal dinner.

     
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    Helper bee
    princess poolau    October 11, 2010  

    i haven't even thought of the rehearsal dinner yet!

    i'm getting married at a private country club where FI's uncle is the manager there. so i was sort of hoping to take my parents to the venue before the wedding to have a look and possibly to taste the food and what not. but that would mean at least meeting FI's uncle. so might be weird if they haven't yet met FI's parents... 

     

     
    5.
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    Bumble bee
    AnamCara    April 10, 2010   Ireland/Connecticut

    I live overseas so when my parents were visiting I asked FI (then boyfriend) if he thought it would be nice if our parents met.  We hadn't even been together a year yet but the odds of my parents being in the same geographic area as his was extremely unlikely for who-knew-how-long so I kinda encouraged him to think about it - not like 'let's plan our wedding' but more like 'we know each other's parents and we both like each other's parents so why not let them meet each other'.  I was literally going to be driving by his parents' road with my parents so we all met for a drink which turned into dinner in a local pub and it was really  nice - all of our parents are chatty so he and I basically sat there and the four parents talked the whole time.  It was like we weren't even there!  Which was great.  In the end it was a good idea and luckily FI didn't regret agreeing with me - it was very low key and friendly.  And now they know each other so we don't have to worry about the pressure of pre-wedding meetings.

    I think if it's possible for them to meet in a less emotional/pressured setting then it's a good idea but that made sense for our parents and might not make sense for all parents - everyone is different!  Good luck!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    arizonabride    June 2, 2010   Tucson, AZ

    Personally, I would not want my wedding day to be the first time the parents meet each other. There is so much emotion and pressure already on that day for a lot of people. Meeting in a more casual setting can really help everyone be at ease. I was worried about our parents meeting becuase I couldn't imagine what they would talk about, but everything was fine. They all don't have a lot in common, but there is no lack of conversation and they all get along just fine. They'll never be best buds, but I wasn't expecting that! If there's a way to arrange it, I would have them meet before the wedding.

     
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    Busy bee
    lampshade127    March 27   Houston

    My fiance and I decided to have our parents meet while we were dating. I thought that it would be the most uncomfortable situation ever. In a lot of ways our parents could not be more different but I don't think I paid enough attention to all the reasons why they would totally get along too. We all went out for dinner and had a great time. I would definitely encourage trying to work something out before the rehearsal and wedding--it may help with some of your other family getting to know some of his side. If it doesn't work out though then meeting at the rehearsal would be great too. I don't think you have anything to worry about!

     

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