Parents name on invites if they don’t pay

posted 7 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

i dont know I anticipate having the same problem.  My mom isn’t contributing at all; costs are being split between FI’s parents and us and i would like to acknowledge his parents on the invite.  I dont want to say

“together with their parents…..” cause it’s disengenuous and it’s not both sets of parents who are contributing/hosting

but if I say “together with FI’s parents” Im pretty sure my mom will pitch an attitude and feel left out.

If I put no parents, Im sure FI’s parents will pitch an attitude. 

I think most people dont put “together with parents” if the parents aren’t paying/contributing

Post # 4
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I ended up doing “rachiecakes, daughter of mr. & mrs. rachiecakes & mr. rachiecakes son of…” on ours… so far only my parents have contributed. (wedding is in a few weeks and though mr’s mom expressed that she wanted to help, hasn’t) Oh well, at least they’re both on there so they can’t fight about it and I don’t have to deal with that.

Post # 5
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

the way it’s supposed to be is whoever pays (or pays the most) gets their name on the invites. Both of our families are paying as well as us so we are saying “together with our families”.

Post # 6
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I didn’t have my parents or DH’s parents names on our invitations. I didn’t think they were going to pay at all, but in the end they ended up helping us out! My parents are divorced though and have significant others and different last names so I didn’t want all of that on the invite anyways.

Post # 7
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We put:

(me)

daughter of Mr and Mrs So and So

and

(FI)

son of Mr and Mrs So and So

 

request the honor of your company, etc.

 

We are paying for it ourselves and we would have done it the same way if one or both of the sets of parents were contributing.  I think its nice to honor the parents that way.  But the way you did it is correct.  You can find plenty of ‘etiquette’ experts to back you up, including Emily Post.  So feel free to tell your Mom she’s wrong!

Post # 8
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

My parents are paying for roughly half of our wedding. FI’s parents are picking up a few things here and there and we are paying for the rest. Both sets of parents will be named on our invitation. Even if we were footing the entire bill ourselves, we would still list them out of respect (but maybe just as daughter of and son of). 

Here is how we are wording our invite…

Together with their parents,
Mr. & Mrs. Brides Parents
and
Mr. & Mrs. Grooms Parents,

Bride
&
Groom

invite you to join them blah blah blah…

Post # 9
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

hmm very interesting!  I have no idea what we are going to do.  Both of us come from divorced families.  Both of our mother’s are helping us pay for the wedding but our father’s aren’t.  I would have no clue what to even say..so we might just stick with our names!

Post # 10
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

We’re paying for 99% of ours, and we have step-parents, single parents so it would be difficult. Ours read:
Together with their parents

Mr. Hottie Bottie and Miss Lucky to have Hottie Bottie request the pleasure of…blah blah 🙂

Post # 11
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Good question.  *bookmarked*

Post # 12
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

We paid for about 85% of our wedding on our own so we didn’t put any of our parents names on the invite even though all parents contributed some money to the wedding. I have divorced parents, one who is remarried so it would have been difficult to put everything on the invite and my parents didn’t care either way. 

Post # 13
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We are paying for 100% of our wedding but we still put both of our parents names on the invites.  After all, it just seemed traditional and we both wanted to honor our parents.  Plus, in our situation it was that our parents really couldn’t contribute, so we didn’t want to hurt their feelings on that subject. 

Post # 14
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

PPSsshhhh!

Not that I don’t love my parents… but no one offered a helping hand, which unnecessary but still would be graciously appreciated. In fact, my mother specifically told me she wouldn’t (she thinks I should marry some well off Lieutenant in the military)–  But, because my FH and myself are paying for this ALL ourselves we are putting this on the invites:

 

TOGETHER WITH OUR FAMILIES

BLANKITY BLANK

AND

BLANKITY BLANK

REQUEST THE PLEASURE OF YOUR COMPANY

AS WE JOIN IN MARRIAGE

and so on, and so forth…..

 

 

I’m sure you love your mom, but you have every right to not put their names. But its your, wedding so its always up to you.

Post # 15
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We are paying for everything ourselves with not help from parents, but we are putting all parents names on the invite. They have done so much for us over their years, its a small way to honor them that doesnt cost us a penny extra

Post # 16
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

we used… “together with their families”. fi and i are paying for 85 percent of the wedding…. neither of our parents really cared though.

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