Post # 1
Hi, my parents are generously paying for the majority of our wedding. My fiances parents are paying for about one-fifth of the event (the usual things — rehearsal dinner, some of the alcohol, a couple other things). My fiances dad says he comes from old-fashioned etiquette where the bride’s family pays for the wedding.
My question is — does the invitation still just say my parents names? I am personally designing the invites and I don’t feel right including his parents’ names after my parents have paid for most of it. Also — his parents have been pretty demanding. They are sweet people, but they did ask for a lot of extra guests, more than my own parents. My parents said they don’t care and all they want is a great wedding for us, but that’s why I feel like I want to honor my parents by putting their name up there.
What do you think? If the groom’s parents chip in at all, do you put them on the invite? Or is there an alternate way — such as:
Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Parents invite you to the wedding of their daughter,
Son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom’s Parents
Does anyone do that/is it necessary? And to those of you whose groom’s parents have contributed a little bit but not the bulk, did you/are you listing them on the invite?
Post # 3
My parents are also paying for the wedding and I wanted to go the traditional route of having just their names on the invite. But since it was important to my Fiance to have his mom’s name on it too, we are wording it the same way as your example above – his mom’s name will be on the invite under his name, but it is clear from the wording that my parents are the ones hosting the party – not sharing the duties with her. 🙂
Post # 4
We are all contributing to the wedding, his parents, my parents and us. So we put together with our familes we request your attendance.
I would say yes they should be included on the invite because you said they are paying for a portion of the wedding reception costs.
Post # 5
Thanks, fancygirl! It’s good to know that someone else did that!
Post # 6
I’m planning to include FI’s parents – it’s not traditional, but they will be paying about 25%, and have honestly supported me more than my own parents through college by giving me a steady job and working around my class hours. I just feel it’s the right thing to do.
Post # 7
I would make sure your Fiance is comfortable with the wording. Just would hate to have tention between the two families over simple wording.
Post # 8
My parents paid for most of the wedding but his parents paid for the entire bar bill, plus rehearsal dinner and brunch and other things. On our invitations we put
Dr & Mrs Brides Parents
request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter,
son of Mr and Mrs Grooms Parents
That way they were both included but its also obvious that the majority of the wedding was hosted by my parents. Plus Darling Husband wanted his parents names on the invitations and so did I.
Post # 9
Hmm.. my FI’s parents are paying for the Rehearsal Dinner and my parents everything else and we did:
Mr. & Mrs. Moderndaisy invite you to witness the marriage of their daughter
We still felt like my parents were the ‘hosts’ of the actual wedding day while his are hosing the Rehearsal Dinner, so we didn’t want it to look like we were all splitting costs.
Post # 10
I like the wording that you have in your post. That still honors them, and it is traditional.
Post # 11
I wanted traditional so i have just had my parents on there – but you should do whatever you prefer – its your day x
Post # 12
We contributed, my parents contributed and his grandma contributed, but I didn’t want his parents to feel left out, and since we contributed the bulk, we worded our invite,
My name & husbands name
Together with their parents,
etc… I think for your situation, what you have is fine. Your parents are hosting and that’s clear, but his parents are still mentioned.
I am of the mind that even if his parents aren’t contributing and he is on good terms with them, then they should be included on the invite regardless because they are still his parents even though they aren’t contributing to the wedding, they did contribute to make him the man he is today. Just my .02.
Post # 13
Just another person who did exactly what you listed above! My parents are paying for the entire reception, so I wanted to make sure they got the honor of being listed first, but Fiance insisted on his parents being on the invitation, so we did the “son of” line after his name.
Post # 14
both of our parents are contibuting to the wedding so on our invitiations we wrote “together with our parents” which just sounds nice i think. i think we would have put that even if they didnt contribute because they have really been there for us.
Post # 15
I worded our invites the same way the original poster noted – they’re not paying for anything in the wedding in Connecticut but they’ll be helping us pay for a reception back in Ireland (which will require another set of invites-ugh) and they’re very supportive and important to us so I wanted to make sure they’re included. Not to mention that some people on FI’s side of the guest list might have NO clue who the wedding was for if we didn’t include his parents’ names on the invite.
Bottom line though, I’m happy to have both our parents mentioned – it’s a family thing!
Post # 16
I think that if Future Father-In-Law says he is from Traditional ‘Bride’s family pays’ etiquette then he really has no right to pipe up if you go with traditional ‘bride family hosting’ invite wording. That said, putting their names on as ‘son of.. Mr and Mrs. groom’s parents’ is nice. It acknowledges them without implying they are paying 50/50.