Post # 1
My parents are pretty non-traditional and didn’t have a wedding themselves. (Went to a JoP one day and got married.) They have always said that they think weddings are kind of a waste of money and effort, all for one day.
I have always been the opposite– I am very into tradition and I LOVE weddings! I do agree that it’s a lot of effort and money for one day… but I always felt that it was important to me and something I would certainly do.
Now, I am planning my own wedding, and am a little bummed at their lack of excitement. They are happy that I’m happy and getting married, and they love my FI. But part of me wishes they could be even a little excited about the wedding. I know I shouldn’t be surprised about this situation, since it’s just who they are, and who I am…. but it still stings a little.
I’m 30 and feel like my parents’ excitement shouldn’t be a big deal, but it kind of is! Anyone else in the same boat?
Post # 3
@Almost Mrs.P: Im in the same boat. By no means am I wanting everyone to scream with excitement that im getting married all day every day. But sometimes it would make me feel a little better if someone just asked “Hey how is the wedding planning coming along?” *sigh*
Post # 4
@NCPwedding: I know! Obviously this is a bigger deal to me and FI than anyone else. But still….
Post # 5
I feel ya. My mother is NOT into my wedding whatsoever. She got married a few years back and was super excited and we planned her wedding together. Now, I am on my own. She cant even remember the date, nor asks how the planning is going. It sucks but its just reality.
Post # 6
- Wedding: April 2012 - Padua Hills Theater
I went through the same thing with my Mom. She was really emotinal about the whole thing because my parents are divorced. Talking about wedding plans just gave her anxiety. It was really hard to deal with. In my case I tried to surround myself by the people that did care. My MOH was a huge help and she was accross the country from me! I always knew I could call her up and talk about plans and idea. I was lucky to have her since my Mom was not into planning at all
Post # 7
I have the same issue. My parents are not together and I don’t speak to my dad but I thought my mom would be more excited. I went through a lot, dated a lot of losers and now I am with the most wonderful man planning a wedding I never thought I’d have. I had actually given up and told my mom I was ok being single for the rest of my life so I guess I thought she’d be so happy for me but she’s just blah about everything. My future Mother-in-law is more excited to talk about the wedding than my own mother. So I turn to her which makes me a bit sad but it is what it is. My mother even told me she might wear the dress she wore to my brother’s wedding instead of buying a new one. That wedding was 17 years ago. That hurt!! I felt like my wedding wasn’t important enough to buy a new dress.
Post # 8
My fiance’s parents are happy we are getting married, but in the beginning weren’t really offering to help out and never asked about wedding plans. This really bummed me out since his parents, two sisters and nieces were all asked to be in our bridal party.
When I told my mom about this (she is very involved in my wedding planning) she offered to have my fiance’s parents over for dinner (just the parents) where she gave them an update on where we were in the wedding planning process, what still needed to be done and even educated them on what was traditional for the groom’s parents to pay for and asked them to think about whether or not they were comfortable helping out financially. It made a world of difference. Next thing we knew my fiance’s parents wanted to be involved and starting taking charge of a few things they volunteered to help out with. Turns out they were just completely clueless about the whole wedding process and were glad to be enlightened.
Post # 9
I have the same issue It’s good to know that I am not alone. But it seems like it’ not just my parents but the whole family, same goes for my FI family. I guess since I am the first to get married in the family and actually have a “real wedding”, no one really understands what a planning a wedding entails. However, I still wish my mom would appear more excited. She does seem excite to find her MOB dress though. But no one in my family calls to check to see how things are going or anything. I even went by myself to pick out my wedding dress!! They tried to make an effort to come but had to cancel the last minute (We live in 2 different states). By they I mean my mom and sisters. My sister is my MOH and when I spoke with her the other day to check on the bridal party planning, she didn’t even remember what date it was and she’s the one planning it. OMG. But anyways, I am just excited to be marrying the love of my life and doing somethng different for a change besides going to the JOP.
Post # 10
I am 20. The only child let alone only daughter and my mom is super one board and amazing- and my Dad has left me in tears MANY times-
beaucse he is to involved in his new wife to care about me anymore.
I hate it.
M mom blew up on him about it and its gotten a little better. but only when I shove something about my or the wedding in his face. he doesn’t talk to me about any of it and when it come up all he says is his job is to walk me down the asile thatss it.
Its really ruined alot bewteen us.
Talk to your parents!
be 100% honest. It might not become all you want but my mom telling my dad has stoped me from crying every few days…