Parents not very interested in wedding and I'm feeling sad about it

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Awe, I’m sorry you’re feeling a bit sad when your wedding is so close!  I’m sure it’s stirring up all sorts of emotions… the good and the bad (unfortunately!)

I’m getting my parents a gift and sentimental card to give to them on the day of the wedding, maybe write down what you’ve said in this post in a card to each of them, about how much you’ve been through as a family, how much it means for them to be at your wedding, and how much you love your parents.

And best wishes for your wedding NEXT WEEK!!! 

Post # 4
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Honestly Mary, you should be grateful.  I’d do anything for having no comments from my mother

Parents who were tortured by their parents regarding weddings usually know their place. 

Plus some people don’t get excited until day of.

Post # 5
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

maryshelley:  Hi there. I feel like I can relate to you quite easily. I’m 36 and FH is older. We are both very financially independent and are paying for most of the big day ourselves. My two older siblings got married much sooner in their lives and so my parents played a bigger role in their wedding planning. As a younger person, I was able to see just how more involved they were with my siblings. Now that it’s my turn and I’m in a different place, their role has been much different. It’s almost hands off, in fact.

I had my final(ish) dress fitting a week ago and prior to that, I told my mom that I was sad that she’d been unable to join me in any of this (due to distance primarily) and that while I was happy to share the moments with my friends, I wish I could share it with her. Well, wouldn’t you know it that she came up the next day to spend time with me and go to that fitting.

What I’m getting at is that sometimes we need to express out feelings, wants, needs and desires to our families. They might think we have it all handled when perhaps what we really need is an outward sign of love and support. For me, it was my mother’s presence at a 30 minutes appointment. For you, it might be a lunch date with your parents where they tell you how happy they are for you and how proud you make them. I know you say that you don’t really want to bring it up but I feel like if you are silent, you may regret it.

Post # 6
10 posts
  • Wedding: September 2014

This post could have been written by me!  My wedding is also on the 6th (date twins!) and my parents could care less.  They have never expressed any interest in meeting FH’s parents (first meeting will be at the rehearsal dinner).  They haven’t had any input in the wedding planning process.  When asked if she wanted to go wedding dress shopping with me, my mother’s EXACT words were, “I’d rather go shopping myself.  But I’m sure whatever you pick will be fine.”  Granted, I live in a different city than they do and she was visiting at the time but still…

I totally understand the feeling of wanting your parents to be just as excited and happy as you are and then getting disappointed when they aren’t.  My coping mechanism has just been to ignore it and hope that on the day, it’ll finally sink in that I’m getting married and they’ll be more excited then…

Post # 7
40 posts
  • Wedding: September 2014

WOW!  I’m getting married Septemeber 6th too and fell the same way!  All along I have tried to involve my mom in the process and she just doesn’t seem interested.  I am also older- 42 and my second marriage, my FI’s first.  Paying for it ourselves.  I just cannot understand the total lack of interest- she loves my FI.  I am not asking for money, just a little interest.  It doesn’t matter how old you are, you stil lwant to know your mom cares. 

Yet,  I spent 4 hours shopping for her dress and she talks endlessly about her dress, her makeup, her shoes- even telling me she will be glad when the wedding is here because getting things ready is so stressful- WHAT?!?!  So she is interested, but only in the things that relate directly to her.  Almost makes me LOL!

I had a blow up with her this week and when I brought up she has not even offered to help- she acted very surprised and actually said it never crossed her mind to offer.  REALLY?  You’re my mom!  Her argument is I am so capable and always have things so well organized that she didn’t think I would even need help.  UGH 

So you are not alone.  I am trying to not care about how my mom is. She will be fine that day.  you can’t change the way people act. 

But it has really bothered me much more this week than any other time,  I guess because things are so close.

Hope the day is FABULOUS for all my date twins!  🙂  8 days!!!!!

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors