- 7 years ago
I’m the MOB and I’m not sure how to handle my role. We told our daughter we could give her a $3,000 budget for her wedding and anything more they would have to figure out what to do. So they (or rather the FI) went to his parents and they told him “don’t worry about anything, whatever you want we’ll take care of”. I have no problem with that, except they have taken over the bulk of the planning of the wedding.
The FMIL seems real nice and I think she would feel bad if she knew how awful I felt, but I feel as though I’ve been relagated to the sidelines over planning the wedding.
I know this board is more for the brides and their issues but if there are any MOB/MOG out there that could share their experiences, I would be very grateful.
The in-laws looked for and found the wedding location that they liked, comes all-inclusive (wedding/reception/catered buffet sit-down dinner-chairs etc). They also found the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner – took my daughter and FI there to eat and they liked it. So the FIL tells my daughter to call me and tell me that since they are paying for the wedding location, I should pay for the rehearsal dinner (which btw, I had planned on doing because of their generousity). But it put my daughter in an awkward position and why could they not have just called me and talked to me about it? It’s as though they are the ones in charge and I need to just fall into place.
They are providing the hotel room for the wedding night, and the transportation and several of the decorations that they would like to see at the wedding.
My husband and I have paid for the dress (daughter bought her own shoes, MOH paid for the veil as a gift). We’ve also paid for the invitations, flowers, decorations (as my daughter wants – w/e the in-laws want will be melded in). We’re also paying for the Cake, Photographer and Preacher (who is coming in from out-of-state)
I don’t know how to talk to these people because they know we cannot compete with them financially and goodness knows I don’t want them to say, “well we’ll split the bill” because then I’ll definitely be overbudget.
Do I just sit down, shut up and keep my feelings to myself? I think my daughter knows I’m hurt but I don’t want this to be a blight on her wedding.
The FIL only have the one son, no daughters and I understand that they want the best for him – but it feels that because they run in higher social circles they should be doing what they want.
Please tell me I’m being overdramatic and to just get over it. That is probably going to be best. I know noone can make you feel bad unless you allow them, I just don’t know how to block my feelings off.