Post # 1
So FI and I have worked our butts off to get set up in life, get good jobs, create our little life. We bought a condo a few years ago and thanks to the market we have a good chunk of equity in it. I am newly pregnant and we decided to take the plunge and buy our starter single detached home. The market where we are is insane, things selling in 24 hours through multiple offers way over asking so us having a condo we have to sell as a condition wasn’t flying.
We finally beat all the other buyers to a wonderul little older home, in a very good neighbourhood. It is dated and needs some TLC and we are getting a good home inspector to ensure the bones are good.
Well we are conditionally sold on the house pending our conditions and we tell our parents. Mine are extremely negative. We overpaid. We should always pay at least $10 below asking, regardless of asking and market. Asking price should never be paid. We paid asking but there asking was market value…exactly. I bet this house would have gone into competition as other offers were coming in but we had it tied up and accepted the counter so we locked the house in.
Anyways, we love the house, it needs some new carpets and gardening and the basement needs to be redone but its all doable stuff and cosmetic. And all my parents can say is we overpaid, they don’t believe the market, we can do better etc. etc. etc.
I just feel so deflated.
Post # 2
The exact worth of anything is what a person is willing to pay for it. You are not buying this as a flipper house. You are buying a home. They need to get over it.
Post # 3
Congratulations on your first house! I’m sorry that your parents are being less than supportive. Maybe just tell them that you are so excited about your new home, and you don’t want to discuss it anymore. Then, in the future, don’t discuss the financial details with them.
Post # 4
missjewels: Our relatives are not going to be happy with anything we buy in the future; they are impossible to please. I get the disappointment you feel, definitely, but try not to obsess over it. You know you did well; you don’t need validation from anyone else. Afterall, it’s your money, not their’s, and you’re the ones living in it.
Post # 5
You’re buying a house you love. So what you’re parents don’t love it. They’re not paying the mortgage. I’d just let their comments roll off my back. Everybody’s got an opinion, and sometimes parents just don’t know when to keep theirs to themselves (my mom is constantly giving unsolicited advice, so I know the feeling).
Post # 6
I say this without an ounce of sarcasm: one of my very favorite things about being an adult is that I can make adult decisions on my own without parental buy-in or approval! Congrats on finding your home. Please don’t let the negativity affect your joy in this decision.
Post # 7
Firstly, congrats on your new home!! I know how awesome getting your first home can be. It totally stinks that your parents aren’t gung-ho excited about it but please don’t let their criticism bring you down. You and your FI made a huge decision and if you love you new home that’s all that really matters. I am sure your parents will come around. Congrats again and good luck with your pregnancy! 🙂
Post # 8
It sounds like your parents have no idea what it is like to buy in a competitive market. My husband and I just bought in a competitive market as well — we put on our offer at 4K OVER the asking price, and it was accepted! You have to put in your best offer in situations like that, because you often don’t get a second chance. Had it gone to a bidding war, we would probably have paid even more — if we had gotten it at all (we really wanted our house). Don’t worry. It sounds like you did the right thing given the market conditions, and your parents are clueless. Congrats again!!
Post # 9
missjewels: Congrats on your new house. This is an exciting time. I learned when we bought our house that not everyone is going to be excited for you, especially parents. They have been through it all it seems and know better. While I agree they know a lot, I can’t imagine where I’d be had I took my FIL’s advice. Our home was a for sale by owner. We were locked into the price, it needs a little work, and we knew we wanted to start a family soon so we didn’t want to wait. Plus the market is insane where I live as well. FIL suggested two things: one was to buy this houise a guy he worked with was selling. Had we done that, we’d be lhomeless. That house’s roof collapsed during sale because the people moved to Alaska and never cared for the home during winter. The pipes also froze and burst. It is also a two bedroom home with one bathroom.
His second suggestion was to build. We couldn’t afford builidng, and contractors/builders are booked at least a year out, so we still wouldn’t be in our home had we started right away. He suggested building a one bedroom, one bathroom house and then building on over time. We’d never be able to fit a baby or St. Bernard in that nor would we have either for a long time as we’d be focusing all our efforts to saving to build the house.
Yet, once we bought our house, FIL was saying how big of a mistake we were making, we overpaid, we were “stupid” for rushing into a purchase.
Do what YOU want and what feels right to you and try not to worry if everyone else is happy for you. Over time, they will realize that you are capable of making adult decisions. Congrats on the house and your pregnancy. Good luck.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
Even if you had overpaid or whatever, if you’ve already signed the paperwork and paid the downpayment, what do they hope to accomplish by pointing it out? Bah. Some parents are just negative. Smile, nod, go to your mental happy place, and invite them over for coffee after it’s all spruced up. Congrats on your new house!