- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Oh boy…. why am I even writing this? I’m 3 weeks from getting married and shit just hit the fan yet again.
For anyone that is interested on what happened….. here is the link to my previous post back in May?
Anyway so after that post, things didn’t get better (at least right away they didn’t). My stepdad ended up coming back from Spain and causing a gigantic scene at my stepgrandparent’s house. I of course was there and lost it. He had this attitude like nothing he did was wrong and of course his father (to this day I can’t stand my step grandpa) of course was 100% behind his son.
My mother was moving in with us that weekend and things were falling apart at the speed of light. I was extremely upset, it was a really rough week for us.
So on to the UPDATE:
The day my mother was going to move in I went to her house and she was a wreck. We started to pack my car with her clothes and stuff and half way through she broke down and couldn’t continue. She right then in there decided she was going to give him one last chance. Her conditions were going to be therapy, a change in character and respect towards her and enough with the money situation. I had no say in the matter. She loves him too much and I’m her daughter, I can’t pull her out of there by the hair….. she spoke with him, told him her requirements and he agreed. They started going to therapy and I guess things were ok.
One day he actually even apologized to me, saying he messed up and please move on from this and blah blah blah. Idiot me…..said ok. So I’m thinking awesome, my family is ok and we can all celebrate my marriage all together and stuff. I once again agreed to have him walk me down the aisle, and that was the end of it. (or so I thought)…….
My grandma flew from Spain to stay with my parents until the wedding. She came August 28th and my wedding is October 5th. I’ve been seeing her with my mom at family events and stuff, but because of work I haven’t had the chance to spend some time with her (I’m trying to get everything done in 3 weeks so I can have the week leading to the wedding completely off). 2 days ago I finally had a night that I could spend with them so I took everyone out to dinner. The vibe at that dinner table was horrific. My grandma had puppy eyes the entire meal, my mother was slightly turning away from my stepdad the entire time (body language speaks volumes to me) and overall it was odd.
When we got home my stepdad decided he wanted pumpkin pie so he left to go get it at the store. And that….is when I found out about everything. My mother is finally done. She said he went to therapy twice and then refused to go again, he is still treating her like shit (she told me he says to her “I love you but I can’t fucking stand you”. My blood boils whenever I think of that). He is threatening to screw up her life and now wants his name on all the overseas accounts (which is my mother’s money from selling our house in Spain to move here btw). He has stopped working completely and does nothing but spend the money my mother works so hard to make and she has been supporting him fully for the last 3 months. He is taking her to the cleaners slowly and doesn’t give a f*ck. The worst part? My grandma was blindsided by all of this, he is treating my mom like shit in front of my grandma, even my grandma said he is unstable and my mother needs to get out of there…. it is bad. The good news is, my mom now is as cool as a cucumber. She told me she is done, she is moving out by November 1st and she said she loves him but she loves herself more (BRAVO!!! I was so proud of her for saying that…….). The shitty thing is….. I’m getting married in 3 weeks. My grandma was in tears begging me to not have him walk me down the aisle, or dance with him…. but what the hell am I supposed to do now?
I am extremely hurt because this asshole thinks he can treat my mother, the only one I got, this way. I honestly don’t want him to walk me down the aisle at this point, but what choice do I have? I don’t want this to be known before the wedding for my mother’s sake and it is too late to all of a sudden change my mind? What bothers me is I’m spending thousands of dollars on amazing pictures and he is going to be in a lot of them. And for the rest of my life I’ll remember being afraid to walk into church by his side and the church catching on fire (he is clearly evil).
My FI and I decided we are not doing father-daughter and mother-son dances. He said that was at least one thing we could cut out to minimize his involvement in the wedding…. and FI will do anything to make this easier on me given the circumstances….
When we get back from the honeymoon I’ll have 3 weeks left of vacation to find my mother a place to live, furnish the apartment and get her out of the house. So the honeymoon is the calm before the storm. And it is now something I am not looking forward to.
I am a lot more calm and collected this time around, because of how serious my mother is about the whole thing. I just don’t know how I’m going to keep up an act on my wedding day. That’s a day that I should be relaxed and carefree. I don’t want to have to put up a face and pretend everything is peaches and cream when deep down I know my mother is suffering.
This was all a vent, I thought I’d just give you guys an update since I got so many wonderful comments when the initial blowout happened.