parents upset with non catholic ceremony, will be in a non demoninational church

posted 3 years ago in Christian
Post # 2
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

jenmickey79:  Be an adult and tell them the truth.  Your parents aren’t going to like everything you do so you have to learn how to deal with their disappointment while also knowing you are doing what works best for you.  If that means getting married in a non-denominational church then your parents will just have to deal with it.  The sooner you do this the better because it’s only going to get more complicated when (and if) you have kids because they will likely want their grandchild baptised and confirmed in the Catholic church.

Post # 3
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I would just be honest with your mom because if she continues thinking you are getting married in the Catholic church it will be harder to tell her and harder for her to accept.

My Dad is Jewish and I converted to Catholicism at the age of 25. He was surprised but he was suportive and just wanted me to be happy. Like you, I was nervous to break it to him. But I just told him. He just asked me if that’s what I really wanted and then never really brought it up again. 

DH and I were married in the Church and my Dad didn’t think anything of it because he said it was my wedding. As far as the annullment, I would talk to your pastor. I am not sure how previous marriages are considered in other denominations but I think you might be correct that it’s more difficult in the Catholic church to deal with previous marraiges. 

Post # 5
Member
2581 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

jenmickey79:  If you were previously married, I don’t think you will be allowed to get married in the Catholic church anyway. I know that annulments are offered in special circumstances for Catholic marriages which are dissolved, but I’m not sure they’re offered for previous marriages if they weren’t Catholic weddings, such as your FH’s.  

You would need to check with the priest obviously, but I know the Catholic church in the UK is much more chill on a lot of things that it is in North America, and over here they wouldn’t marry you if you’d both been married to other people and your marriages hadn’t been properly annulled. And if that’s the case, there’s not much your parents can do about it anyway, so they’ll just need to get over it. I’m surprised your parents aren’t aware of this anyway, if they are so devout.

I really think the priest would be unlikely to do it though, especially if neither you or your FH attend mass any more yourselves,  but I wonder if contacting the priest and getting it in writing that he’s unable to do this would help reconcile your parents to the fact? Maybe explain to the priest that you are aware of the situation, and have made arrangements in another church, but your parents had hope you would have a Catholic wedding and would perhaps benefit from him explaining why it wouldn’t be possible.

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