Post # 1
My husband and I own our home, it’s 2 bedroom 1.5 bath and not real huge but not super tiny either (two level, bedrooms/bath upstairs and half bath on the main level, around 1,400 sq feet). We don’t have any kiddos, just us, our cat and our dog. My parents are coming to visit us and the first time they came (after we bought our home) they stay stayed with us. I thought it worked out fine but I heard some rude comments from my step-parent about the bathroom set up (it’s too small, didn’t like where the mirror was, outlets weren’t in a good spot)…and about the bedroom (didn’t like the wood flooring, it was close to our room, etc)…and then told me that they couldn’t sleep well in there and were up all night…I heard them on the phone later with one of their children and they said “we could never have brought them! (speaking of grandchildren) There’s just no room!” I felt like crap and like we live in this hell hole of a house (that’s actually pretty nice!) and have been putting off their next visit by being busy on weekends they want to travel here. I finally realized they wouldn’t give in and set up a weekend for next month.
When they called last night to finalize plans they said “And we will be staying in a hotel. So we have a little more room”. I was sort of rude and said back “Fine by me, I could tell there wasn’t enough room for you guys last time you stayed”.
Do any of you guys have parents who choose to stay in a hotel when they visit? My husband’s grandparents will get a hotel when they come to town, but that’s because they’re a.) older and like their set bedtime/wake time and b.) have always done this and do it at his sister’s house, too. Just curious as I’m feeling crummy about the exchange yesterday and in the past!
Post # 2
Oh my goodness
1) They weren’t happy–and you obvously felt their complaints were rude
2) they solved the problem.
Your precious house was not comfortable to them. They don’t want to be close to your bedroom and they needed more outlets. They solved the problem rather than antagonizing you.
I don’t see the problem.
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2015 - Industrial/Modern
I’m with searock. They solved the problem and now you don’t have to hear them complain. It’s a win win in my opinion!
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Count your lucky stars that they’ll get out of your hair at night and move on : )
Our house is 850 sq ft and I’m always psyched when visitors would rather stay at a hotel.
Post # 5
I would rather they slept at a hotel if that’s how they feel. Sometimes people just have a hard time sleeping at someone else’s house. A hotel offers a couple a chance to escape and have some privacy and maybe they weren’t feeling that when they slept there.
Post # 6
MrsD41503: My in laws built this beautiful like 6 bedroom, 3 bathroom home a few years ago. Beautiful everything in there. My Mother-In-Law, honestly, is a hoarder and keeps it dirty, BUT when she knows guests are coming she will change bedding, super clean, etc.
However, when FIL’s family comes from out of state, they still chose to stay at FIL’s sister’s 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom home. Why? Because they just want to, and it’s more fun there. Mother-In-Law is always offended and bitches and complains, but yet hates all of them anyway, so why if she hates them does she want them staying with her?
Anyway, my point is, if they don’t like your house why would you want them there? Let them be comfortable in a hotel if that’s what they choose. That’s where I’d prefer they’d be if it were me. More room for you AND less complaining 🙂
Post # 7
MrsD41503: I’m sorry they were so rude and gossipy.
The good news is they want to see you pretty badly, and they are willing to pay for a hotel. I have a friend who has to pay for her rich parents to stay in a hotel because they don’t feel ” comfortable” at her house.
Enjoy the space this will give you during their visit and the fact that you won’t be able to hear them complain 🙂
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
DH’s parents go back and forth between staying at ours and staying in a nearby hotel. I know they don’t get the best sleep when they use our guestroom, so I would prefer for them to do what makes them the most comfortable.
Post # 9
I’d always opt to stay at a hotel rather than someone’s house if I’m visiting. It gives everyone their privacy and personal space, and you still can spend as many waking hours as you’d like with eachother. Plus, they don’t have to be inconvenienced by having to tend to an overnight guest.
If they can afford it, it sounds like the best solution for everyone!
Post # 10
I feel like you’re getting some very direct and ride responses here. What I think, it’s good that they’re staying at a hotel if they were uncomfortable at your house. But, it still really sucks that they were rude and negative about something you love and worked hard on and worked hard to get in the first place! I know when my family comes over I clean and organize like crazy and out out flowers and try to make sure everything is perfect, and I would be really upset if that was met with complaints!
Post # 11
I think it’s just fine- I would not be upset at all!
Post # 12
Where they rude for what they said about yoru house after you hosted them (likely for free)? Oh heck yes!
Would I be very happy that they were staying in a hotle in your place? Yep. You don’t have to deal with them complaining again about staying there.
For the record, we visited some of DH’s family a year ago. We stayed in a two bedroom one bath house with them (couple) and 3 dogs. We are NEVER doing that agian. While I kept my comments to Darling Husband, four adults in a two bedroom house was too much. I also am an intervert, and his aunt meaning well asked me every five minutes if I needed anything. What I needed was an hour on my own to read my book and recharge. We need a hotel when we visit from now on just to give me enough space not to ger surly (and I was by the end of that vacation.)
Post # 13
We live quite close to both sets of parents so there is no real need for them to stay with us. Whenever my PILs go to visit my SIL they usually stay in a hotel (I think they don’t like to impose/it’s a treat for them) but this time they are staying with my SIL and her Boyfriend or Best Friend because the hotel they usually stay in is booked up. My Mother-In-Law is going on about not wanting to…not wanting to impose but it could be something else with her.
I think if they’ve found a hotel it will be better for you, now you wont be on edge. Question will be…will they still be critical even though they aren’t staying.
Hope the visit goes well.
Post # 14
lolot: <— what she said. i would be sooooooo beyond thrilled if this were my “problem!!”
Post # 15
We have a tiny cabin. My stepmom used to live here when I was growing up but moved away years ago. Even though it was home to her, she stayed in a hotel when she came for a visit. It was easier for both of us. She had her personal space and I had time to clean up a little after she left so I could prepare for her visit the next day.
DH’s parents are planning a visit and are against staying in a hotel. 🙁 Boo.
I think what’s shitty about your situation is your step parent’s attitude. Good golly that is so rude.