Post # 1
My Dad and Stepmom gifted my FI and I an engagement session with a local photographer. They have contacted him but haven’t paid him yet.
From my experience with him and from looking at his portfolio, I really don’t like his style. He doesn’t do any editing and using lighting techniques that are supposed to be artsy but aren’t flattering at all.
I feel bad because it is a gift and I don’t want to be ungrateful, but this is our engagement. I want to be happy when we see these photos! I also don’t want my parents to waste money on something I don’t like.
Should I tell my parents that I don’t like them or just do it anyway?
Post # 3
Tough because it’s such a nice gesture that they are gifting the photographer to you. And you wouldn’t want to present another photographer to them that’s more expensive and have it be awkward financially.
But I think you should sit down with them at a computer and show them what you like/dislike about the photographer’s style. And show them a few others that you do like as suggestions.
I’d rather have someone really enjoy a gift I give rather than have them accept it with a smile and then regret or never use it after they receive it.
Post # 4
Touchy situation… Only you know how they will react. If it will crush them, then I would go ahead and do it. Remember, you can always have the done again later by a photographer of your choice.
One way out, might be to find a photographer that you want to use for your wedding, and see if they will do the engagement session too, then you can tell your parents that you have reached out to him for your wedding and he asked to do your engagement pics to. Then that way they can help offset some of your wedding expense. Just a thought.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Definitely tell your parents.. if you don’t like the photographer or his style, you’ll probably be uncomfortable and doubtful during your shoot anyway. Maybe ask your parents if you can find a different engagement photographer together.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Since they haven’t paid, tell them ASAP that while you don’t like the photographer style, you love that they’re offering you this gift, and you would like to chose another one with them.
Post # 7
I would just let them know that while you appreciate the gesture, you would prefer to use your actual wedding photographer so your images are all similar in style/editing.
Post # 8
I would definitely tell them. My older sister and her husband are also gifting us the engagement photo session. We chose the photographer and she went ahead and covered the costs. If I were you I would research photgraphers and find one that you do like that is in the same price range as the one they chose then just say ” Thank you so much for offering to cover the photographer, but would it be ok if we went with X photographer instead?” If the price is basically the same I’m assuming they would be perfectly ok with it.
Post # 9
I’m going to be the black sheep here, but why not at least meet with the photographer? Tell him what you want and like and ask him if he can do it. If he is so artistically motivated that totally disagrees with your vision, he may not even want to do it and then problem solved!
Post # 10
@PamelaBrit: Good point!
If you truly don’t want to meet with the photographer, I’d definitely tell your parents. They clearly want to do something nice for you that you’ll actually appreciate, so why not ask for what you want. 🙂 You could say something like, “Thank you so much for the amazing gift! We have actually already found a couple of photographers we love, and since an engagement session is the perfect way to get to know the photographer even better and to express what we want for the wedding, could we possibly ask that you book one of these people instead?”
Post # 11
I would agree with everyone here. I would let your parents know , but I think you should meet with the photographer as well. You can your parents can maybe meet with two or three photographer and decide together.
Post # 12
@PamelaBrit: I’ve actually worked with him before. I’m an actor and I needed portraits done. He offered to do them for a discount so I said yes. He shot about 200 photos and only 2 were usable. He’s a very nice guy but I’m a woman who likes to be airbrushed!